Monday, March 28, 2011

Thing 348 Shooter's Sandwich

Arguably the greatest sandwich ever made, the Shooter's Sandwich requires preparation, attention to detail and six hours of a wait before you can eat it. Minimum six hours. To be fair, any sandwich that takes six hours to make better be god damn worth the wait. I don't like waiting six minutes for a sandwich, much less six hours. I mean, in fairness, isn't half the fun of a sandwich that it takes so little time to prepare? Great food, takes only minutes to get ready, and you're in taste heaven in no time. Seems like six hours defeats the purpose of a sandwich. You can make chilli in six hours for crying out loud...

This one was a suggestion from The Frenchman, who discovered the Shooter's Sandwich on one of them fancy pants websites he visits, but since there was no way he was spending time making a six hour sandwich, it falls on his gullible and pliable housemate to lead the way. Suggest it as a Project Thing, that way I do all the work, and he gets sandwichy goodness. Sly boots...

In fact, that's a pretty good way to get me to do lots of stuff. Hey, I need you to collect my laundry, you've never done that before, make it a Project Thing... I'm feeling used and dirty, and not in the nice way. In the bad way.
If you're wondering what that photo is... it's an amp, and several weights on a copping board which is resting on a loaf of bread. That's the kind of sandwich we're talking about here, a sandwich that requires weights...

Here's the recipe:

Things You'll Need:
1: An unsliced crusty loaf of bread.
2: Two steaks, any cut that you prefer is fine but I opted for fillet, because I'm a fancy bastard.
3: Shallots or spring onions.
4: Mushrooms
5: Worcester Sauce
6: These are optional, but I used them to good effect; Ballymaloe jalapeno relish, mustard, salt and pepper (the condiments, not the mid-nineties rap duo).

1: Slice the top off your crusty loaf and scoop out all the bread inside leaving yourself with just a hollow loaf.
2: Fry up the mushrooms and spring onions/shallots. I went with spring onions, you can have shallots if you want, I object to their name for one reason or another. It just doesn't sit well with me. When they've reduced in size, season with salt, pepper, Worcester Sauce and if you're feeling adventurous, some brandy. Just a splash. You're not trying to get smashed here... When you're happy with the consistency, leave these to one side, the mushrooms should have absorbed all the flavour of your seasonings.
3: Fry up your steaks from the same pan. Flavour should stay with the pan. Cook to your preference, but most recipes I've seen recommend the pink side of medium. I'm inclined to agree.
4: Take the steaks straight from the pan, piping hot and dripping, and fold one into your hollow loaf. Now spoon in your mushroom and onion mixture. Add the second steak on top of this. spread some of the mustard on the steak.
5: Spread some jalapeno relish on the underside of the top of the loaf that you sliced earlier. Be generous with it, that stuff is delicious. Now put the lid back on and wrap the lot in greaseproof paper.
6: Wrap again in foil and place a chopping board on top of the loaf. Begin adding weights to the board, slowly. Keep adding weights every so often. Leave the whole lot for a minimum of six hours, or overnight.

The whole thing should compress down into one tightly compact steak sandwich of unbelievable awesomeness. It's actually worth the wait. Slice it into rectangles and share with your friends. Or don't. Tease them with it if you'd prefer.
I still think a sandwich that takes six hours kind of defeats the purpose of a sandwich, but nonetheless it was delicious, and The Frenchman got himself a tasty midnight snack.


  1. You do realise that this is the ONE thing you made that you were proud enough of to give the recipe for.... Glad to see the cooking skills have reached 'decent sandwich making' :)