Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thing 343 On My Feet All Day

Y'all know the expression (wait, did I say "y'all", feel free to punch me the next time you see me, I deserve it), on my feet all day? Yep, I literally stayed on my feet all day. Next time you hear someone say it I want you to question them rigorously, interrogate them to ascertain if they spent any part of that day sitting down. Fifteen minute coffee-break eh? No sitting then? Are you sure? What about your lunch? Any sitting? The car on the way home or the bus? Don't you stand here telling me that you spent all day on your feet when we both know it's a lie. I'm the only one who's ever done it properly. Ever.

I got out of the bed, made my way to the shower and that was it... I never once spent a minute off my feet. This involves, as previously mentioned, no car to drive. I walked to the bus stop with The Frenchman, got on the nearly empty bus and stood next to his seat. I started worrying that the bus driver would tell me to sit down, so I prepared a story about having hemorrhoids. Those are the lengths that I'd go to for a Project Thing. I'd tell a stranger that I have hemorrhoids.

Now I always seem to be trying out my Things in Arabica and The Old Quarter, so we decided to try something different - surprise, surprise, me doing something new, who'd have thunk it. Since the sun was still shining we went to The Locke. It's a smashing bar where people sit out by the Abbey River and enjoy a pint or two. I stood out by the river and enjoyed a pint or two. Swayed from side to side, shuffled my feet, did anything to avoid standing still. As long as I'm moving it's not bad. Standing still is the enemy.

Then it was back home to make the dinner. No problems there, I tend not to cook sitting down. It's never been a favourite of mine. Next up was where we hit the real problem... Tuesday night in Thorny Wire's Bar has become a bit of a fad with some local musicians. With work in the morning there were no pints for me to be having, so I wasn't staying long, but I wanted to pop in. No buses this late though. So God Boy drove us in, with me standing up, hunched over and buckled in on the back seat. My ass never touched the comfort of the chair which was now just inches away. Same thing all the way back.

Thorny Wire couldn't resist mocking. "Sit down here with me Danny..." Hilarious. Man's a comedian.

Got home and stood about watching Chuck. I'm something of a fan, but watching TV standing up with a cup of tea is not a good idea. If you're standing you always feel like you should be going somewhere. If you weren't planning on going somewhere then why not just sit down? It tricks the body and the mind. I kept feeling like I'd somewhere to go.

So that was that. My whole day was spent on my feet. From the moment I got up, till it was time for bed. Ankles didn't thank me for that yesterday morning I can assure you.

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