Friday, March 11, 2011

Thing 320 Read Mein Kempf

Probably the most controversial book ever written. And it's just like my sixth year history book promised me it would be: a complete snooze-fest. I mean seriously, I've never been so bored when trying to read a book, and I've read history books that were untouched by human hand in twenty years when I was in college. Now that kind of book would just bore you to tears.

Now when I say I read it, I should be more clear, after the first two chapters I started kind of skimming. I was reading it, but most of the words weren't going in. And by two chapters later I was so bored that I turned on some Earthworm Jim cartoons to have in the background. It gets worse though, I kept reading and eventually I hit sleeping point.

Continuing reading got painful on my eyes. I persevered, mostly because, like watching a terrible movie, it's hard to switch it off when you know that by finishing it, you'll have achieved something great, which is only great because of its awfulness. An achievement of terribleness. It still counts as an achievement.

I always loved history. In school we'd a class history teacher who gave you a good old interest in the subject, while not forcing you into nonsense learning that none of us were really interested in. I specifically remember my history book (being covered in doodles; "Dan woz ere", as if you wanted to know) telling me that Mein Kempf was boring and repetitive. I kept thinking; "there's no way that's possible. This book started wars. It HAS to be controversial.


Shockingly boring. There was chapters and chapters of how a young Adolf loved the Austrian countryside. How his dad had worked hard to become a civil servant, and showed all the people who had written him off as a young man. Riveting stuff (sarcasm doesn't really work in text does it). It should be mandatory punishment for people to have to read it.

Even the controversial stuff was crap. It made no sense and it was rambling. While I was tired, it still doesn't count as being an excuse for a book to be so unbelievably crappy. For the most controversial figure in world history, Hitler was boring as hell.

If you're looking for a happier alternative there's always the Harry Enfield alternative classic: "I'm Kamp". It's shorter, but a lot flashier.

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