Sunday, March 27, 2011

Thing 347 Bin Bath

Here's some Things I wanted to do: Wash myself in fresh water, like a stream or a river. Climb out the upstairs window using a rope made from bedsheets. I do love the stupid ideas for Things that I get from the movies and television. There's a little part of me that blurs the lines between fiction and reality, and I consider it possible to tie my bedsheets to a radiator and climb down. Of course it was never going to work, I weigh twelve stone and the radiator is attached rather flimsily to the floor.

Try telling me that last night though. No way. Wouldn't hear of it. Pony Boy had to forbid me doing it. Since it's his birthday and he's the oldest, I deferred to him. The problem of course is that I was just after finishing a long day at work, and options were extremely limited in terms of Project Things. So what to do...

Well Pony Boy takes away and he gives back. The recycling bin out the back is full of water and since I'm never going to have the time to get the whole fresh water washing Thing, well this is the closest thing I'll get to it. A bath in a bin out the back at ten at night. If that doesn't wake you up for a night out...
What a photo, what a sexy beast I am. Well, the beast part is accurate, the sexy bit is up for debate. I'm in favour of the motion, women everywhere are opposed to it. The reason the bin was full, was that we were using it for power-hose water, it's not like it was rain water or anything. I went and fetched the shower gel, Pony Boy fetched the camera, chuckling to himself, Token Northy joined in the laughing, then Lady Northy walked into the kitchen, saw me out the back, naked from the waist up and thought I was out on the deck in the nip. The woman nearly screamed. Not the screaming-fan type scream, the I'm terrified type scream. So much for the sexy bit eh?

So the Thing itself is straight forward enough. Strip down to the boxers. Climb up on the bench, because I'm a midget, and jump in. Just jump on in to the freezing cold water with the temperature outside at a balmy two degrees. In order that I didn't just jump in and out, Pony Boy fired half the bottle of shower gel on me, so I had to wash it off. What a clown.

I hunkered down and got dirty, or in this case, hunkered down and got clean. It was not pleasant, but if I'm planning to swim the bay in Kilkee then this is the least of what I've to worry about.
And that photo... I don't know why I added that. They told me you could see the steam rising off me, but I don't see it. I just see a chubby guy grinning like an idiot. Enjoy.

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