Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Thing 340 Drink from the Beer Tap

Dear Sir/Madam,
Considering the outrageous fees which are charged by your school for annual membership, I'm appalled at the standard of the work done. Our son was enrolled at your institution for the purposes of learning what is now the almost lost art of gentlemanly conduct. This family prides itself on manners and courteousness as well as dignity and decorum, and your finishing school promised to deliver such an education. We feel this is sorely lacking in our eldest son, Daniel.
Enclosed are several photographs taken on his latest endeavour to "experience more" from his life. As you can see, the effect of your ministrations on his behalf are clearly not in evidence. Is this really the standard of behaviour expected from one of your students? As previously stated, the fees for your school are nothing short of astronomical and we expected a more lasting effect on our son.
Nowhere to be seen in these photos are the virtues and beliefs which are apparently installed in all of your students. You'll note also that his brother and an attractive member of the bar staff have apparently led him astray. Is this the level of sophistication to be expected from one of your graduates? What, precisely, can you tell me did we spend our money on? The man is drinking beer from a bar tap. Is this one of the classes given in your establishment?

We look forward to reading your reply regarding our wayward son.

Sincerely,
Dan's Ma and Da.



P.S. Thanks to a most excellent suggestion posted here not too long ago, we're going to be making a reality TV show our of our house. Sluggery TV will be streaming live here on the blog site on March 31st all day. Watch Token Northy walk around in his underwear. Watch Pony Boy taking a nap. Watch The Frenchman eating a baguette. Watch Lady Northy being classy. All here, all live, all day.

2 comments:

  1. will be glued to the computer all day on the 31st of March !! please sluggy people dont disappoint!! dan, i am sure momma and poppa mooney are devasted at their waste of finishing school fees!! not quite sure what we will do when your birthday comes around and no more blogs to keep us amused!!

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  2. or even devastated!! (know how much you like accuracy on comments)!! did i spell devastated wrong.... again??

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