Friday, March 18, 2011

Thing 331 Spur Steak Challenge


It's four pounds of beef. I like a steak as much as the next guy, more so even, but this is just stupid. I didn't help my chances either, I've a bad habit of being talked into things by Siobhan on the Ray Darcy Show. They set up this little debacle for me ('cause they're nice like that). It was supposed to be on the Wednesday evening, and then we could have a chat with Ray the next morning, no problemo. But noooooo. Ray had to have it on air, and I, for some reason cannot say no to Siobhan.

So I went to Spur, at nine in the morning, and tried to eat four pounds of beef. Sixty four ounces of rump-steak. I'm an idiot.

Here's how the challenge works: You call up Spur Steakhouse in The Crescent Shopping Centre (for the Dubs reading this, I think there's one in the Liffey Valley Shopping Centre too), and tell them you want to try it. They arrange your date, and give you one hour to eat sixty four ounces of steak, with sides of chips, fried onions and coleslaw. I hate coleslaw by the way. If you can eat it, it's free. If you can't, it's sixty euro. That's right folks, you get to pay sixty euro to not finish your dinner. What a world we live in...
Not very appetizing is it? It was actually nice steak. Me with my tactics, I thought I'd get it cooked medium-well instead of my usual; bloody and dripping so I can soak up the juice with my chips. Nom nom nom. The more it's cooked, the smaller it becomes. Super clever right? Wrong. I don't like well cooked meat, so now I'm just eating more of something I don't like.

I'm so cock-sure though (less of the giggling please, the word cock isn't THAT funny). I was giving out about the coleslaw before the whole thing started. I don't want to eat it... as if the coleslaw was going to derail the entire thing, and not the baby sized portion of beef.

The guys in Spur were class though. Sound out, and very encouraging. The Boss inside there told me that none of the big guys ever finished it. It was always done by a small guy, not much larger than me, and professional rugby players had tried and failed. Sweet, I thought to my stupid self.

One guy in Dublin ate it in twenty one and a half minutes. He came back the following week, ate it in twenty two minutes and then had desert. I want to meet that guy and shake his hand. Leg-end.
The problem with talking about this stuff to Darcy is, that it being national radio, people find out about it. Local newspaper turned up, and I made the front page. Yep, a kind of fat guy, trying to eat steak. The Journo made me sound like a legend though, so my embarrassing failure wasn't as bad as previously thought. Other people from shops around The Crescent came down to the store to laugh at me through the window, and take photos. Can't blame 'em. Everyone loves a freak-show right?

So another failure. I ate about thirty ounces of steak. Not even half way. That's still nearly two pounds of beef, but there's no prizes for nearly-rans.

I've not eaten steak since. I guess it'll be a little while before I'm able for it.

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