Monday, June 28, 2010

Thing 76 Write A Limerick

Pictured: Limerick, not a poem.
Pictured: Limerick. Not a city. And a slightly dirty picture. Saucy minx...

A day of two halves. Except one half was way longer than the other, and therefor, cannot be, by definition, a half. What I should have said was a day divided unevenly in two pieces. Except that's kind of dumb. And makes almost no sense.

Here's why it was two uneven segments:

First Segment was my ninth attempt to go a day without swearing. Before today, there were eight failed attempts to go a whole day without using one swear word. I've a mouth like a pirate. I really hadn't realised prior to this Project exactly how much swearing I do. But it literally takes almost nothing to set me off.

Roundabout by The Parkway - in the correct lane, traffic moves up the outside lane and tries to cut in front... the effort not to explode in a hail of expletives nearly brought me to my knees. Traffic lights at Ivan's Cross. Light goes green. Traffic doesn't move. Person in front is putting on some make up. Must curse... but didn't.

On arriving at work, I was biting my nails. The strain of not swearing casually was crippling.

Conversation: "Hey Dan, how are you?".
Dan: "Man, I'm pretty fucking tired... DAMMIT!!! $%&*£$£%&*&$%%$£$%&***###%#£$%%^&^%$££...

Desperate measures are required if I'm going to pull this one off. But I'm going to have to try another day. So instead, there's this:

" I tried not to swear for a day.
It was not a fun game to play.
I just had to quit,
when I couldn't say shit,
'Cause curses are quite fun to say".

But wait... there's more...

"Limerick's a very fine City,
Often a little bit gritty.
It's thoroughly fine,
this city of mine,
not to visit would be such a pity".

I can't stop...

"A radio man is called Ray,
with more than his fair share to say.
His show is a hoot,
and clever to boot,
I listen almost every day".

And Token Northy wants in on this action too... He loves the blogging now so he does.

"There once was a fella names Dan,
Who came up with a wonderful plan.
A list to obey,
for a year and a day,
to make himself feel like a man".

Charming. What an asshole... :D


  1. I seem to recall i wrote that limerick months ago, on the spot, when you claimed writing a limerick would be a "tricky" thing, that would take "at least 15 minutes". You big dope.

  2. So you did!

    Uncle Terry

  3. There was a young eejit called Mooney
    Who thought that a bloke called Wayne Rooney
    And another called Lamps could make England champs
    Say goodbye to your money ya looney

  4. Nice one tone :-)