Monday, June 21, 2010

Thing 69 Meet A Pornstar

And so ends one of the most unusual days of my life. I didn't meet one pornstar - I met six. And I didn't just meet them. I spent the day on set, filming a pool party for Television X. For the ladies who may not be aware, that's a porn channel on Sky TV, the fellas, probably already know... don't lie lads.

It's on the list since the first day of The Project, and why wouldn't it be? Porn's everywhere - the internet's jam packed with it. Sex sells people. So I emailed Television X, who were only delighted to invite me over. Sure thing said Claire in Marketing. Pop on over... join us at a pool party...

Who says no to that? So there's me and Claire... Hello Claire!!
Tanya Tate's a name you might recognise from the national newspapers. She did a little sex tour of Ireland (was actually in Limerick oddly enough. And I thought I knew everyone in the Treaty City...). While she was touring, she invited fellas onto her "casting couch". This is a nice way of saying that she trialled guys to be the next Irish porn star. Or maybe the first Irish porn star. I don't think we have any. A Wexford senior hurler tried out -and got lambasted in the press. I don't see why really. He's a hurler. Not a bishop or a politician. What this guy does with his spare time is his business... But I digress...

Tanya Tate, Syren Sexton and Kerry Louise were the three lady performers for the day. So I got to chat with them all. Actually, I got to annoy them all. Poor things. There to do their job with some gabby Irish fella in their ear whenever they had a spare minute. So here's the first thing I noticed: Porn stars are sound out. Bang on - if you'll forgive the pun (don't forgive it, it was awful, I don't care). I asked them about whether they were embarrassed by their jobs? Not a shred of it, confidence personified, but wrapped up in an appreciable charm. Did they enjoy the work? Hell yes. It pays well and it's fun and safe.

I wanted to poke in some hard questions (good lord this blog is chock full of dreadful puns and thinly veiled innuendo), but I just found them too nice...

So here's me and the ladies...
Pixie Head will be glad to know I didn't spend all day with the girls. I talked to Paschal White. He's been in the porn industry for 20 years. Again, it's tough to talk about porn to people in porn, because I'm Irish, and porn is taboo in Ireland. We're embarrassed about sex. Behind closed doors - no problems. Out in the open? In public? On DVD? No thanks... We're prudish. Again, I wanted to lead in with some hard hitting questions, but they guy was just so cool. Pleasant, chatty, popular with cast and crew. I found myself just having a natter with him to be honest. He told me the industry's changed. Dramatically. Amateur pornographers are swamping the market, undercutting established stars. It's becoming harder and harder to find professional crews and teams to work with. He did shoot in Ireland once... but they cancelled early. Apparently it wasn't a popular crew in whatever town they were shooting in... I asked him about what it's like working in the industry for 20 years. Apparently, it's impossible to be involved romantically with anyone who's not also in porn. I can see why... It's a tough old relationship when the line "honey I'm off to work" is the fastest way to get into a row that you can think of.

Here's me and Paschal. He's bigger than I am, as the photo shows... (sorry, I couldn't resist. What is wrong with me??).

What's that I here you say? That's only four pornstars Dan...

Well here's me along with Dean and Angel Long (she's the director today, and a performer on other days - she's also super-cool).
So that's me and pornstars. Now to the people you don't see... There was a house full of people putting this project together. Make up artists, drivers, network management, production company management, and of course, the filming crew. Can you honestly imagine yourself holding a camera and filming while five people have sex with each other? Me either. These guys (and when I say guys I mean these girls and a guy) were like a well oiled professional machine. Nothing phases them. Full on hardcore sex scenes being shot in front of us, and this team barely batted an eyelid. Move for a different angle. Cut. Next scene. And... they were bloody lovely as well.

There's a terrible judgemental part of me that wanted some part of this porn business to be seedy and weird... but everyone was so nice. Televison X, the pornstars, the crew...

By the way - here's the crew... J, Emily, Laura and Angel.

Porn's a dirty little secret in Ireland. Taboo. And I went into the house with every intention of finding out how pornstars deal with that. I also really wanted to believe that it's seedy and disgusting, and that somehow, the making of the movies would reflect that, but it just plain didn't. I know there's a thousand and one reasons for people to be against it, and there's a million billion and one people who are... but I just can't judge after today. They was nothing seedy, dodgy or scary about it.

And I got to answer two age old questions: Dialogue scenes take longer to shoot than sex scenes. There's no such thing as a fluffer.

P.S. I'll post a proper review of the interview with Tanya Tate on when I get the chance... probably tomorrow. Or the next day. Whenever I'm not lazy.


  1. Being paid to have sex, dont they have another word fot that,oh yes prostituation. When they were filming the 'pool party' were they actually .... working ??? cos you went over there to meet them not watch them at work!

  2. Bravi, Bravo, Brava.

  3. Dude did you plan the timing of your visit for this to be thing 69?

  4. "but they guy was just so cool. "
    "What's that I here you say? That's only four pornstars Dan..."

    Aside from that, you thoroughly amuse me. I dont think you ever judged it before your visit, but it's nice to know your mind is that little bit more open....and perverse than it was before! Ha!

    So, tell me this?? Was all this done at a secret foreign location, because that pool, and that crew all look very "exotic", I'm sure "tis far from shpuds these wans were reared"!

  5. Is it odd that I'm proud of you for this? A most un-Dan thing to do, to my mind. Challenging, like. Maith thú.

    Also... fnarrrr Thing 69

  6. i don't see why the "ladies" wouldn't know there are porn channels on SKY tv...

  7. It was a pleasure have you on set with us, we hope you enjoyed your day with us!

  8. Hi Dan,

    Nice to meet you the other day, Glad you had a good day on set with us. It was a busy one !

    Love the write up.

    Good luck with every thing else your gonna do