Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thing 63 Smash A Computer Monitor

It's a beautiful day outside. Sun shining. Birds singing. In the distance, children are crying, which they tell me is a sign that they're enjoying themselves. Not me though. Night shift last night, so I'm tired and cranky. Night shift tonight too, so I'm unable to unwind. No beer garden or trip to the beach. No little jaunts to the countryside. Bah. On top of that, meeting with a bank manager which was effectively two hours of numbers. By the end of it, it was just a random series of numbers. Could have meant anything...

Time to vent some frustration.

Ever notice that when you're cranky with your computer, it's the monitor you take it out on? When i was a Championship Manager addict (two years clean now, thank God), I used to routinely shake the crap out of the monitor when my 25 million euro striker missed his fifteenth open goal of the game. Other addicts and recovering champ-man players know what I'm talking about. When the machine mysteriously decides it's time to down tools while you're in the middle of something major, it's the poor faultless monitor who takes the blame. Or the mouse, but there's no point smashing a mouse... It wont make a big enough explosion.

Time for smashy smashy...
Pony Boy lamented the "pointless" destruction of property. I disagree. First of all, there's very little pointlessness in smashing something. It's always fun. And secondly, I've been having a stressful day. Standing on the roof of your shed and chucking off a computer monitor, which, at some stage has frustrated me terribly, was a great way to pick up the spirits. I'm sure it's entirely unhealthy. Cathartic.

It also made an awesome bang. There are scientific reasons. Pony Boy explained them. Here's a run down:

Something about a vacuum. Something else about a gas called argon. Something about glass, velocity and bla bla bla. Science can be fun. It frequently is (for proof read Bill Bryson's Short History of Nearly Everything). But way to make a cool explosion sound ridiculously lame...
And it's also fun to poke it with a stick.


  1. forget the slippers - sexy shirt!

  2. Dude, what the hell are you wearing?

  3. Holy Crap.... I'm reading this at work and I'm wearing that very same shirt.... I smashed an ol' CRT back in the day... remember straping "fireworks" (quarter sticks)to the glass but they were useless, ended up slamming a barbell into it.

  4. Sorry to be anal but CRT monitors actually implode rather than explode.
    Hahahahaha, if someone actually left a condescending comment like that for me I'd kick their head in.
    Seriously though, I'm off to do a bit of Van Eck Phreaking on my neighbours...

  5. check out the film Office Space, they do something similar to a computer.