Thursday, June 24, 2010

Thing 72 Chat Roulette

You can't see that up there, but that's the coolest dude on Chat Roulette that we came across. Mind you, that wasn't difficult to do, most people on chat roulette were actually just penises. And I don't mean that in the metaphorical sense, like they were acting like dicks, I actually mean that literally, most of what we saw was male genitalia.

In one hour we had to stumble passed 60 penises.

For anyone who's not familiar with Chat Roulette, here's the basic principles:
It's a website you use with a web-cam. It allows you to randomly link with other people who also want to randomly chat to other people. It seems silly, but you've to appreciate that technology has shrunk the entire planet to the point that some German dude with nothing better to do, can, at a moment's notice, link into my living room and have a chat about nothing. I love it. Twenty years ago this planet was massive, and travel was difficult. The internet was a series of smoke signals. To chat to a German you paid lots of money for a flight. Now you hop on a Ryanair for twenty cent. Or just log in to chat roulette.

The problem is that the internet is full of perverts. Porn and perverts. Except you obviously. You're alright. One hour. Sixty minutes. Sixty penises. Way to take a good idea and ruin it perverts. Dudes that basically get themselves off by having a go at themselves knowing that someone is watching. It's all kinds of wrong.

We got to chat to a handful of people. Including Crazy Portugal Guy, Quiet German, Smiley French Dude, Barely English Speaking Turkish Guy and his compatriot Pervy Turkis Guy and of course Baton Rouge Boy. That's him up there - at the top. I educated him on Thierry Henry. His exact response. "Fuck that guy". Genius.

There are entire parties for this shit in the US. People throw Chat Roulette parties. It's a good idea. Reach out and touch someone. Not yourself. That's just wrong.

Poor Little Flower. She nearly lost here life. The Frenchman spent the night watching through his fingers. Not quite a horror movie, but not far off.

We also met this guy...
Out of nowhere. Barely dressed. With a sweatband and what amounts to a g-string and nothing else on, a very fat Asian, possible Japanese man (looked a little sumo wrestler-ish) bursts on to our screen and busts the best move he knows how.

This guy gave it complete socks, barely dressed, no music in the background. And for whose benefit? Surely not his own? His awesomeness knows no bounds. Fat Asian Dancer is the greatest thing the internet ever had. I hope he turns into a complete internet legend. I hope he becomes bigger than the fat kid on the rollercoaster.

Oh, and for fun, here's the funniest thing YouTube has to offer on Chat Roulette. This guy is thoroughly cool - Check It.

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