Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Thing 57 Left Hand For A Day

Well this is a little nerve wracking... I've never written for all the new people before. Bit nervous about it... Welcome, make yourselves at home. Tea? No. You're probably right. This is the internet after all...

On top of the nerves, there's the additional frustration of typing Thing 57 entirely with my left hand. Hats off to the lefties reading this blog, they just don't make the world for you guys do they? Tin openers, scissors... other stuff... alright that's all I tried, but it was hard. I took a shot at left handed writing and left handed pool, as well as left handed pint-drinking (for The Project you understand). That's me there trying to open a tin of kidney beans left handed. I stress trying.

Initially I thought I'd just sling up the right arm, help to avoid the temptation of using it, but that's not the experience of being left handed, that's the experience of being one handed. And I've already done that; broke righty jumping a bench in Salthill when I was about 10 years old. Also, I was crap at having a broken arm, I more or less ignored the cast and continued to kick ass at Super Mario Brothers.

Pictured: Getting my ass whooped at left-handed pool by Token Northy.

So I decided to sling-up only until it was time to try something lefty. This prompted laughs of derision and mockery from The Frenchman, Pixie Head and Token Northy. Humiliated in Austin's Bar by Token Northy and Thorny Wire, while Austin sat there laughing at my best efforts. There's no directionality in the shot, no control, no chance of winning. It's hard to be beaten by your own little brother, even if it is left handed pool.

I also tried the crossword today. When it was done it looked like the childish scratchings of a six year old doodling on a wall with a crayon. So I'm not ambidextrous then. Evidence below:

It's not a pleasant day overall, a funny one, but difficult. Think I'll call it a day and go back to sipping beer with my right hand.

P.S. Spent a lot of time with my left hand on my phone today, so here's thanks to Siobhán, Ray, Jenny and left hander Will Hanafin who I'd a lovely chat with this morning. The help is much appreciated dudes. And Goodtime as well. The article was only lovely.


  1. The entire point of this blog was to include a picture of the completed Irish Times crossword isnt Dan? I hope your ego is happy

  2. David McLoughlinJune 10, 2010 at 2:13 AM

    Hey Dan,

    Heard you on Ray D'Arcy on my way to Dublin yesterday: great project, well done.

    Just thought I'd suggest another idea for you to consider as one of your 366 things to do: go to an Opera, or more to the point: go to the European Premiere of a brand new Opera - I'll happily provide you with 2 tickets to 'The Golden Ticket', the opera based on Roahl Dahl's 'Charlie and the Choclate Factory' which we're presnting the European premiere of in Wexford Opera House on Oct. 17th as part of this year's Wex. Opera Festival.

    Anyway have a think about it and let me know your thoughts. Even if you've been to an opera before I'm sure we could find some new experience for you to enjoy relating to one of the many events we host here in the Opera House all year round, most non-opera. Ever performed on stage?!

    Good luck with the project,


    David McLoughlin
    Wexford Opera Festival/Opera House CEO
    (086) 807 3681

  3. Heard about you on Ray D'arcy too, your hillarious, I'll be following you anyway...(not literally, I mean in blogspot terms, no need to keep looking over your shoulder or anything...)

    Can't wait to see what you do next!

  4. Dan kudos on the list so far :) and thank you for walking in sinister shoes for a day and trying out things the leftie way, now you realise why Ned Flanders wanted to build a leftorium! Life is not easy for us...didn't you see the book of Kells and go shopping with a girl in one day also???!!

  5. Hey Dan. I am a producer with Phantom 105.2. Just looking to get in touch re: the project. Can you give me a mail to Róisín


  7. Lefty's have feelings too and the sadistic sod in me is happy that you got to feel my pain. Now, if only there was a way to make you gigner for the day...