Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Thing 64 Blind For A Day

Well this marks the end of the most unusual and surreal experience I've been through in quite a while. Since I got up this morning after last night's shift, I've had my eyes sealed shut. No sight whatsoever. I guess the idea was to try to see how blind people live for a bit. I don't know braille though. And it's not really a legit test unless you've been going through this for a while. One day of bandages over your eyes is not really a proper sample of the life of a blind person, but it's the best I could some up with on short notice...

We really take this sight business for granted. In a way that you wont ever understand until you try to do the basics without it...

Today can be split into two types of challenges: Legitimate Issues and Dickhead Friends. Guess which one was harder?

You've gotta love them really... It's one of those laugh or cry situations...

Legitimate Issues:
Showering and brushing of teeth weren't a major problem. En suite being where it is, I've enough of an idea of where to go and how to get there. Dressing on the other hand. Took me about ten minutes to feel out different shoes before I could confidently tell you I had the matching pair - curse my ridiculous amount of converse runners. Add also that I had no idea what clothes I was putting on. I think I did pretty well.

Moving about the house is not fun. You think you know your own gaff? Try getting about it for a day without seeing where you're going. Thank god for the cane. No idea how many steps are on my stairs. Less again that there's a step from the kitchen to the back, or another one from the front door to the outside. It's just not the kind of thing you pay attention to when you can see where you're going.

Moving about town was utterly pointless without Token Northy or Pony Boy to escort me. In all fairness to them, they never once tried to walk me into any major obstacles. Cross a road? Not a chance. A door into a shop? No way. Here's a tip of the hat to the ladies in Eason's today. They did think I was actually blind, and were entirely too nice about helping me out. Didn't want to put them straight, mostly because I didn't want people to think I was taking them for a ride with some kind of stunt.

Cooking? Bah- no way. Eating. Difficult at best. A nightmare at worst, but more on that later. It becomes basically impossible to do anything without serious help from all about you. I didn't know before today, and I don't know any better now, how blind people get about their daily business. I'd absolutely buckle under the pressure.
Dickhead Friends:
I love them really, they enjoyed the hell out of today. Token Northy got up and left me sitting at the table in the Old Quarter talking to myself. Nice. Pony Boy got himself in nice and close, dropped his shorts and mooned my face, from about three inches away. Token Northy took a photo of it. It's not safe for work. The Frenchman and The Canuck enjoyed a leisurely day poking me with things from a reasonable distance. Text messages had to be read and replied to by Token Northy. I'm sure he stuck in a reasonable amount of abuse in those. Things were thrown at me. Regularly.

And then there was the hot sauce.

It burns my mouth and my lips. No amount of beer or water is going to improve it. Covered on my chips while I ate my dinner, and without me having any way of knowing. Good powers above, it burns. So which do you think was harder?
Pictured: The moment my mouth burst into flames.


  1. In answer to your question deffo not your mates cos heaven forbit anything did act happen to your sight you know ppl would have your back :) fair play for doing it.

  2. quit the shit... I struck a match last night... and it exploded... like it was made from semtex and hit me straight in the eyeball... dammed Indian matches... so now I got to go to the eye doctor... : ) Let you know if I get to wear a patch arrrgggghhhh

  3. what u at from Sun-Wed...want to do some project things in Kerry? Best of luck with the porn star.....

  4. Awesome. One of the truely brilliant things one the list.

  5. That took cahoonas. Well done.