Friday, June 18, 2010

Thing 66 Take a Pregnancy Test

Right, I don't know what's going wrong with my photos today, but they're not loading. I blame Bean Bag. Her laptop is weird. She's weird too, so I guess it makes sense.

I don't want to spoil the end of the story for you, but it turns out I'm not pregnant. I guess the bump is just a beer gut then. To be fair, it's been a month and a half since my last marathon. Actually, it's been a month and a half since my only marathon, but who's counting. It's one more than God Boy's ever run. The fat mess.

The humble pregnancy test has been responsible for much anguish and much joy. The sex that came before the tests probably has more to do with it than the tests themselves, but we're not going to quibble about semantics are we? There's a tension to them, and a lingering sense of taboo that's probably some left over from 1950's Ireland. But it is responsible for many shattering of dreams, and the making of many too.

The poor woman behind the counter at the pharmacy didn't know what look to give me. I'm just young enough (or old enough if you want to look at it that way), to fall between the cracks... Had I been a year or two younger it might have been the "poor thing" sympathy look. A little older and it would have been the "that's amazing" congrats look. Since I don't fall into either category, she wasn't sure if the test was for the baby I was hoping for, or the baby I didn't want to have.

Could have saved her some heartbreak by telling her it was for me, but I guess that would have raised more questions than answers. And might have gotten me slapped. I'm unsure of which would be more likely.

I urge everyone to give it a shot. There's little more unusual you'll do with your day than sticking something into your pee stream. Just don't try to drink it after. That's just sick and weird... ahem.

Bean Bag gave out to me for making jokes about it - she's right too. This is a major junction in the lives of many women. It determines what direction their lives will take from the moment the result shows till the end of their days. It's the kind of thing that most men cannot, and never will understand.

I was still nervous waiting for the results though...

P.S. I'll edit tomorrow on my own laptop and stick in the photos.

P.P.S. England are crap and I've wasted one hundred euro.


  1. Better luck next time Dan.

  2. where are the photos?

  3. PHOTOS!... please :)