Thursday, June 17, 2010

Thing 65 Be A Mannequin

Aside from the monkey length arms dangling down there, that's not a bad old photo of a mannequin is it? Or as Blond Boss put it - a Dannequin. Oh yeah. Ten out of ten for her - back of the net.

There's more than one person who made this happen. It's been on the list since like the first week. But I don't know anyone who owns a clothes shop. So.... Beg Ray Darcy on air? Sure. Why not? Man does that guy have clout...

So cue Noelle and Dave in Tony Connolly's. Let some clown pop into our shop, kit him out in some of our gear and stand him in a window to annoy passers-by? Sure. Why not? Apparently the people in Tony Connolly's just like being nice (and they do, they were lovely).

Then there's Pixie Head. Get out of bed at stupid o'clock in the morning to stroll around town with me and get make up and hair junk to make me look like I'm made of plastic? Sure. Why not? She does love to mess with make-up and hair and stuff. It's kind of her thing.

And behind it all? Tony Connolly. What a nice guy. That's him there next to that handsome mannequin...
I had three distinct tricks. I named them. I had time on my hands, while I stood there.

The Watcher:
Make eye contact early as the pedestrians pass by. Follow them with only the eyes as they make their way passed. Nobody wants to believe that the mannequin is watching them, but they get that creepy "being watched" feeling. As they approach the edge of vision, quickly turn the head to look at them without changing facial expression. Watch them jump. Try not to laugh.

The Nutter:
In a group of people, identify one who's looking when the others aren't. Wave openly at them and smile. Then freeze in mannequin pose. Watch in peripheral vision as nutter tries to convince his mates that the mannequin moved. Don't move. Allow mates to accuse nutter of being insane before winking at them all.

Sharp Change:
As the target walks by, remain perfectly still until they're nearly abreast of you. Move suddenly. As your only in their peripheral vision, they'll turn to look at what moved so suddenly. Remain still. Watch as they try to decide if the mannequin moved. And if it didn't, because that would be crazy, what did. Slowly and deliberately wink at them.

It's all funny stuff. I promise. I'm sure there's some sort of symbolism at work. The mannequin watching the people, looking out from the inside. Post modernists will probably have something to say about it all... But I say it's just hilariously funny. I love it.

God bless the people who got caught too. They all laughed their asses off when they realised that they weren't insane, and I wasn't a robot. Although that would be cool.
All in all, a very good day.

Except that I had to compete with that guy on the right. He's a foot taller than me. I never stood a chance.


  1. I loved it when those two Korean guys were having a big arguement right in front of you. I was going to take a picture but thought they might get mad

  2. well Dan, fair play to you, i doubted you would be able to contain your legendary shake,
    10 outta 10, best one for me to date