Thing 47 Write a Computer Program

This is obviously out of my depth. I had to type the word "obviously" three times in the last sentence just to get it right. So computer programming seems a little bit beyond me no? Thank god my friends are smrt. That's right... smrt, with no "a".

Pony Boy turned our living room into a computer junkie's wet dream with all the technology. To be fair, he's paid to do it. Token Northy just loves gadgets. Big Dog recently got a doctorate in artificial intelligence computer programming. The man spent several years trying to make a computer smarter than he is. Nearly went and did it too. Damn thing can predict stock markets or something. If he'd only changed his project title to making a computer smarter than Dan Mooney, he'd have been done in a few weeks... Shortt Cake is another technological wizz and Panda Bear too for that matter. Lots of smrt friends eh? And of course, Spoon. Just finished a degree in computer games design. He's like the perfect nerd friend (and yes, we willingly acknowledge that we're nerds).

The point of all this, is that I needed help. Obviously enough. I'd like to think that none of you had such high expectations of me that you expected me to write the damn thing all on my own...

Oh wait... The Canuck and Token Northy did. They weren't at all happy with the help Spoon was giving me on this one. But more on that later.

"Hello World" is the name of the first computer program written. Ever. It's a basic little program that requires two seperate libraries of programs in order to execute correctly. We also used a program to write the program. I'm sure there's a clever post modern statement to make on that one, but it's a Sunday, and I'm lazy and I've work in an hour. So "Hello World" it was. You write to the directories you wish to include. Then you open the command functions, and put in a squiggly thing, and then you type some words and then you press the buttons, and I got a little dizzy in the middle of that, so I don't really remember what else. But you wouldn't understand my computer programmer language anyway. I'm smrt now too...

We fancied it up a bit, but effectively my entire program was a MS DOS (remember that? Early 90's flashback going on here) screen that said "Hello World". That's the picture there up top.

This did not satisfy Token Northy. So I decided to be rude about it. Spoon showed me how it was done the first time, and it was just a matter of re-writing some text in my code (still smrt) so I could show him exactly what I thought of his criticism... Here's the photo...
Yep. That's a dirty word written in my computer program. It goes someway to explaining why Spoon is the way Spoon is. This computer programming thing is tough work. Think I'll retire on top of my game and go back to being a coffee swilling, beer mongering bum. Stick to what you're good at eh?

Pictured: Dumb and Smrter