Thing 37 Fruit For A Day

They say you can never get enough of good thing. What a load of crap. You don't want to know what this day has done to my insides. It's nothing short of horrendous. I've had to turn up the volume on the telly to cover the noise... Pony Boy and Token Northy are looking at me funny.

High in vitamins, minerals and other nice junk that scientisty doctorish people tell you are good for your body. Low in meat. And bread. Because it's fruit and not either of those things I just mentioned.

Typical breakfast for today's shift: Bacon, white pudding, hash-browns, small white-bread roll, some beans, brown sauce and a mug of steaming coffee... perfect.

Today's breakfast: Some fruit and a mug of steaming coffee.

Typical lunch for today's shift: SubWay, Sub-Club; ham, beef, turkey with green peppers, red onions and south-west sauce and a steaming cup of coffee.

Today's lunch: Some fruit.

Typical dinner for today's shift: I dunno; lasagne, casserole, stew or some fajitas, or something.

Today's dinner: Some fruit.

Typical evening snack: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich...

Today's normally delicious evening snack: Grapes.

It's no wonder I'm overweight and dangerous cholesterol levels are about to ensue. You should have seen the state of me in the shop. Watching other people queue up with bread, and pizzas, burgers and chips. The smell of the deli counter... ugh. I'd murder you for a sandwich right now. Ya. You.

Next time someone warns me about five-a-day they're getting a steak sandwich into the face...

Even worse is that I thought midnight was the cut off point. I started to think about the pizza I'd order, and how the ham sandwich would taste with a pint of milk, and a bar of chocolate, or ten. But Token Northy and Pony Boy tell me it wouldn't be legit, and where normally I'd tell them to cram it, I think they may be right.

You don't want to see what I'm going to annihilate for tomorrow's breakfast. I'm getting up and hour earlier just for the hell of it...