Sunday, May 2, 2010

Thing 19 Run A Marathon

That's the before shot. You should see me as I type... Everything hurts. Soles of feet may as well be one blister. Muscles from ankle to neck are locked up tight. They make a creaking sound like an old door from a horror movie when I turn. My knees... oh god my knees... it's like someone drilled from one side directly across to the other. Left and right. And I've never felt better... honestly. It's amazing. I covered 26.2 miles in 5 hours, 12 minutes and 37 seconds. Hardly record breaking, but I'll take it...

26.2 miles. 42 kilometres. The first guy to run this ridiculous feat of human endeavour died from his efforts a short time later - he was announcing the Athenian defeat of the Persians at Marathon. Hence the reason we get the name. It's a straightforward task though. Just run or at very least keep moving for 42 kilometers in the direction indicated by the track. Stop only when you've crossed the finish line. Can't be too difficult right?

First 13miles at a nice steady canter. Some light rain, which was most welcome, and two tulips standing at a water stand who made us stop and rip the plastic off the bottles to get at the water. Other than that- nothing to report.

Second half... starting to feel it a little now. I was thoroughly surprised I lasted this long without starting to feel the terrible effects - I'm a fat chain smoker who drinks too much. At what point was this supposed to be easy? By the time I hit mile 20, I was starting to feel a little shitty, but thought, hey, there's only six left.


How the funk did I get this far? Why does it hurt so damn much. Why is my neck sore? Seriously? I'm not running on the back of my head here... How is that old woman with her dog overtaking me here...? It's times like this that the bit you didn't do in training comes up. The one thing I hadn't counted on in four months of training... How goddam nice are people? Everywhere along the route people clapped and cheered, shouted encouragement and patted me on the back. Just when you think you're done, people give you a boost. Then of course there was John from Galway who stepped in along side me with just over two miles to go - when I thought I was done, and properly beat, he managed to keep me ticking over. People are just great. My mam was delighted... Look, there she is...

The .2 of a mile was the best... nearly there, crowds cheering, family and friends waiting to see me cross the line. Safe in the knowledge that I've now run more marathons than God Boy and BandMan combined.
Dad, Mam, Uncle Roger and Auntie Lillie were delighted about this as well... They're good like that.

Total Number of Marathons run by these two fat losers: 0
Total number of Marathons run by this legend: 1

Take that clown bags...


  1. Dan!! Congrats!! My mam n dad did the half marathon today. I'd love to have been in Limerick on a day like today, adn take part.... I think I'd JUST ABOUT manage a 10km, if even.

    Kudos to you my hairy friend!!!

    Lisa Bee

  2. Congrats again man, Im surprised you were able to stand last night but I guess it goes to show what one man will do for a pint of the black stuff.

    Hope your feeling better today.