Thing 38 Cut Someone Else's Hair

I couldn't make a friendship bracelet without help from the two older boys in the house. Nor could I make an origami swan that looked anything like anything other than a finger trap or a mutilated cow. Why on earth would anyone trust me with a razor and a scissors...? Honestly...

I've a shake in my hand, that I presume comes from too much coffee, but that I've never bothered investigating, and I've the sense of style and grooming of a walnut. Surely to god no-one being of sound mind and body would let me do this to their head...

Thank god Token Northy's not of sound mind. Bat shit crazy is a better description. You'd need to be to let me at you with a scissors. I hurt myself last week just trying to make a sandwich...

To add insult to injury, the last person to cut the man's hair was Pixie Head, a qualified hair-stylie person with actual taste and sense of fashion. And to rub extra salt in the sounds (I'm on a roll with the old clichés), Token Northy's got flowing blondey/ginger locks...

Just look at him:

Pictured: Ginger?

Pony Boy took the safe option. Hold the camera and shoot some photos. And swore that there was no way I was going near his wolverine-look. Then he proceeded to tell me what to do, and made jumpy noises and breathed in sharply several times, just to freak out the Northy. Clown.

Pictured: Disaster in the making...

Barbers and stylists make it look easy, and they have the second best small talk in the world (behind taxi drivers) all the while clip-clipping your hair and making sure that you look like a human being when you've shelled over your hard earned cash for the hatchet job they've done on the top of your head. And you never stop trusting them really do you? When you sit into the seat, you're supremely confident that the right person is about to take something sharp and shiny to the back of your head. There's no doubts or worries, because they know what they're at. What must have been going through Token Northy's head? He's got work in the morning... We can't send him to work looking like something attacked him in his sleep...

And this is how it ended up...

Pictured: A fine haircut.

All in all, for a guy doing this for the first time, that's not too bad eh? I mean, it could have gone tremendously wrong, but that's not a bad cut is it? Why do I look so worried in that picture then...?