Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thing 28 Crush a Can With My Head

Where's all the cool guy stuff Dan? Where's your dignity Dan? You're a girl Dan... A sample of the many complaints received after yesterday's fake nail task. Tell you what clowns; you try wearing the fake nails for a day and tell me how easy you find it. And I owe you bums nothing. Bah humbug...

Mind you, who am I to refuse to bow to peer pressure so here's a nice manly task. Inspired by way too many American frat-boy movies where some American-Football player shoots his can of beer and slams the empty into his head before letting out a roar. Yeah... that's manly. Take that. And chicks dig it. They find this stuff hot. Don't they?!? Sure... why not? What woman doesn't want to see this on a night in by the telly...?

Sexy. I've just plain old never been tough enough to pull it off. I actually knew a couple of guys who could actually pull it off. Genuinely. They could seem perfectly normal and at home in the middle of a party at college shouting loudly after smashing the remains of their can of Dutch Gold into the side of their head. One part of your brain thinks; what a clown. The other part secretly says; I wish I was brain-dead enough to pull that off... Logic suggests that if you do it often enough, you'll eventually be brain dead, so there's an idea...
Much debate over what way to do this. Smash can to head, smash head to can? I opted for Mr Miyagi style martial arts bit with the head whacking the can, mostly because Pony Boy told me not to and Token Northy said I couldn't. Fastest way in the world to make me do something: tell me I can't. That shot up there is not still, it's a motion shot - moment of impact. For all the massiveness of my giant head, that's as far as I could crush the can.

Still, it's done and I'm glad of it, and it had to be something easy today... long old shift at work. Next time I do something short and easy, here's hoping it doesn't leave me with a red ring on my forehead and a pain in the front of my skull... the things we do to look manly eh?

P.S. 28 Things later and I've actually tried to go a day without swearing six times, all to no avail. I might actually be incapable of spending an entire day without blistering the air around me with swear words...

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