Friday, May 28, 2010

Thing 45 Brown Sauce in Tea

Seen Intermission? Class movie. There's only a handful of really great Irish movies, and this one is well up there. But why I ask, would Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy lie to me? Why? I've enjoyed them getting pinned down in phone-booths, I've marvelled at them playing at scarecrows. I even enjoyed when one of them was hanging around with Samuel L Jackson, and I don't think anyone is cool enough to hang around with him... So why? Why would they lie?

For anyone who's not seen it, there's a running bit in the movie Intermission (this is not a major plot spoiler, I promise), where some of the more prominent characters put brown sauce in their tea. They all extol the virtues of brown-sauce-tea. Now I get the joke. It's on me. Very clever. It's exceptionally disgusting. And I mean rancid. I've known and drank some disgusting things... you know what I'm talking about, and this is probably the worst yet...

Look at me, I hardly know what's coming do I? And The Canuck looks innocently at his cup, not knowing what's coming next. Poor thing. This guy fought a car a few weeks ago, honestly, he fought a car, and even he had to gag at the tea...
Pictured: Stupidity about to happen... again...

The following is a brief and by no means exhaustive list of things that are good with brown sauce.
Bacon sandwiches.
Any fried meals.
Grilled chicken in a ciabatta.
Mash potatoes.

Not included in this list is tea. It's because tea is not good with brown sauce. I dislike this Thing intensely. Spoon loves it though. He laughed his ass off.

It happens that me and The Canuck took a quick jaunt (yes, the word jaunt is acceptable and is internationally recognised as being cool), up to Carlow of all places to collect Spoon. He was moving home after college. So he promised us tea. We didn't know what we were letting ourselves in for. Honestly.

First of all, we tried it with milk. Obviously a mistake. It curdled the milk. Instantly soured it in the cup. So obviously we didn't drink that... no wait. We did. We drank tea, brown sauce and recently soured milk. God dammit. I promise I'm smart sometimes. So we tried it without the milk. Piping hot water masked the taste initially. So we were able to sip it. We both briefly pretended it was actually nice. Then the taste took over. And it's simply awful...

I'm laying off this stupid junk for a while. The next few Things will be easier on me. Not as much fun for you, but easier on me, and that's important...

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