Thursday, May 27, 2010

Thing 44 Cycle Through a Drive Thru

I love stuff that defies convention. You know those t-shirts that have a picture that makes them look like a shirt and tie? I wouldn't wear one, but they do give me a laugh. Ice Man once wore one to the Arts and Ed Ball in Mary I, all those many years ago when I was a whippersnapper. I like comedy that defies convention - Flight of the Concords being a most excellent example. So this kind of nonsense is right up my street. See that picture? It says drive through only, not cycle through... oh the zany hilarity.

Mind you, nothing makes people more afraid than defying convention. The guy in McDonald's looked at me like I'd killed six people just to get to the top of the queue. Seriously he looked like he'd be happier if I was trying to hold up the place instead of trying to order Drive Thru on a bicycle. Wasn't the only one either. The family in the car behind me were staring at me. I couldn't have gotten more looks if I'd been dressed in a banana suit... Hmmmm.... there's an idea for The List, a banana suit.... actually never mind...

Is there anything more funny than freaking people out by not doing what you're supposed to? Everyone in their place. Do what you're supposed to. I remember the freak out the guy in the petrol station had when I tried to pay for my petrol before I pumped it into the car. He made me go outside and fill the tank, then come back in and pay. There's simply no way to take money for petrol that's not yet been pumped. What kind of a crazy did I think I was? Or what about starting a conversation at a bus stop? Hilarious. Everyone knows bus stops are where Irish people who don't know each other stand around awkwardly and pretend not to see each other. Convention. We're complete slaves.

Pictured: The impossible actually happening.

In sharp contrast to the fun of scaring people there was Token Northy's bike. And the bike ride in general. They say you never forget how to ride a bike. Liars. I nearly fell about fifteen times just trying to get on the thing (point and laugh if you like). On top of that, the bike itself is an Olympic Racing job thing... Built for speed and acceleration. And torture. It's also built for torture.

The seat is hard and painful. I can see how it was built for speed. My ass cheeks hurt. I'd be trying to finish a race as quick as possible too, just to get off the thing. The handlebars are ridged for your displeasure. Heel of my hand is sore. The pedals aren't actually pedals, they're just sharp spikes. I'm not kidding. Sharp spikes sticking into my feet. I didn't know Token Northy was a closet masochist. Out cycling for the pure pain of it. Pervert.

But at least I got a look at the face on the McDonald's guy when his world as he knew it ended. I mean honestly, a bicycle in a Drive Thru...
Pictured: My sore ass. Kind of. In the distance there. If you can make it out...


  1. I know what you mean. I tried to walk through a Wendy's drive-thru about three weeks ago. It was about 3 o'clock in the morning, I was on my way home from our local and everywhere else was closed, including the Wendy's pedestrian entrance. They refused me. "I'm sorry, you need to be in a car." "Well, can't you just pretend I'm in a car", says I, gripping my imaginary steering wheel." "No." "Why not? It's not like there are any cars lined up to be served. Aren't youse in the business of making money by selling food? Why would you have a stupid rule like that?" "Sorry, no can do. It's against the rules." Aaaaaaaargh! Token Northie's Uncle Terry

  2. My mates are moutain bikers and they say the spikes are for special boots you wear so you dont fall off your bike, having said that I would have paid good money to see you cycle to mickky d's on a mountain bike lol funny sight lol

  3. Fat kid on a roller coaster vs Mooney on a Mountain Bike... I'm on the fence

  4. I think you should have gone for a car wash on a bicycle afterwards - now THAT would've been funny :)