Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Thing 85 Chair Magic Trick

Alright, I failed. I don't want to talk about it. Stupid not swearing. Worst Thing on the List. I'm really, genuinely, thoroughly disappointed with myself. It's just not saying some words. It shouldn't be this difficult. All day I'd gone (alright I lied at the start, I kind of do want to talk about it. When have I ever not wanted to talk about something? Ever?). All day without uttering a curse word. The lads at work were supporting me.

I told someone that assumption was the mother of all.... oops. I dodged a bullet. The Canuck asked me what FUBAR stood for. Dodged it. Pony Boy asked me what a female dog is called. I'm too clever for that. Dodged it.

Got into a pointless conversation over dinner where I tried to convince everyone in the room; The Canuck, Little Flower, Pony Boy, Pixie Head and Big Mac that Jurassic Park was a documentary based on real life.

It's a f***ing documentary I said, and continued rambling without pause. Pony Boy's face said it all. They try to make me fail, but then they're upset when I do. Go figure as the Yanks would say. Damn clowns.
So anyway. I didn't believe in this thing when I heard about it. A bunch of people sit down on a few chairs and when you take the chairs away they stay rigid and locked into place. They can even sleep in that position. Bull shit. Wont work. We'll collapse on each other.

"Afriad?" says Pony Boy...

I'm in.

Yep. It worked. Egg on my face. The principle is sound. Four people (you can use more if you like), sit into the chairs with backs to the legs positioned behind you. See above.

Lie back. Your back is on the legs of the person behind, their backs are in turn on the legs of the person behind them and so on, until someone is resting their back on your legs. Remove chairs. Everyone stays where they are. No one moves. Physics. Who'd have thought it would work. Seemed like a load of utter b***s**t f***ing a*** w*****ed crap to me.

Sorry. Not all out of the system.

Tomorrow, attempt Thirteen, or cleaning car windows at traffic lights, depending on how crappy or good it goes with my latest effort. Damn my black tongue.


  1. You'll do it tomorrow, dont worry. You'll be concentrating so much you wont slip, bet you any thing :)

  2. Ah gawd :( Clearly you need to baby sit a child for the entire day, or hang out at an old folk's home, so that your sense of propriety will kick in.