Saturday, July 31, 2010

Thing 109 As Many Hubba Bubba As Possible

I swear, I'm thinking of having hypnotherapy for this crap. Eighteen times I've tried to go a day without swearing now. Eighteen times. Sitting down with me for a chat must be a thoroughly offensive experience. Mind you, a South African friend of mine told me that it's not just me. He says every time he goes home to visit he's stunned by how little other people swear. Then he comes back and he's inundated with f's, c's, s's, a's and the rest of the "f"ing alphabet to boot. I'm starting to think I'm a bad person.

I failed at about half nine this evening. Token Northy arrived home and we talked excitedly about County Kerry getting turned over by County Down in the football quarter finals. Stunning result. Cracking game of football. Or as I said: F***ing awesome game of football... Oh crap.

Right. I'm not giving up yet. Short term solution required and we'll try this again for attempt number nineteen.

You'll note the lack of mo-hawk. Mr T eventually had to be retired. I was afraid of Mr T actually turning up. Not really. But a little.

When me and Thorny Wire were small, there was Hubba Bubba, but even with pooling of pocket money it was too expensive to waste a large chunk of cash when there was refresher bars and dib dabs to buy. Economic principles. We grasped them early. It's not that we didn't want them, just that there was so much more that could be got for less. And if we wanted chewing gums, we could have those penny golf balls.

I do remember some of the other kids in school comparing stories of how many hubba bubbas they could cram in their jaws, but it never interested me.

Then when I started the list for The Project I think it was Spoon, though it could have been someone else, but I think maybe it was Spoon, started talking about the whole hubba bubba phenomenon when we were small. Never had it. Stupid economics. I missed a whole phenomenon because I was saving money for Roy of the Rovers bars. I blame Thorny Wire. I blame him because it's safe to - he's over in Detroit. Greedy little economists that we were, we managed to miss out... I wouldn't change it. I loved my Wham Bars...
So there's your answer. 31. I can fit thirty one hubba bubbas in my mouth in one go. That's just over six packets. Beat that kids.

I like remembering my childhood. I don't like gagging on chewing gum. Dare you to try to do better...

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