Thing 101 Throw A Surprise Party

Parties. Now there's something I can do. Easy peasy. I've done loads of them. Beerpong parties. Scumbag parties. Chat roulette parties. Yep. I like 'em. I've also been blessed with a group of social deviants who're famous for having little to do and drinking on short notice. Makes party planning easier. Bang out a text - "Beer at mine - then town. Tomorrow night. Dress like something from the 80's". Job done. The cast of Breakfast Club will turn up the next day.

Surprise parties require a little more meticulous planning how and ever. Token Northy turns 26 next week. Yep. Next week. The first masterstroke is to organise the party a week before the big day. He'll never suspect... Kudos on this end of the plan must go to Lady Northy - this was her brainchild. Now all I've got to do is make sure the people get here.

Apologies came in from Blond Boss, Top Cat, The Canuck and The Frenchman. The Frenchman for crying out loud. He lives in this house... So attendance wasn't exactly through the roof. Ahem But many thanks to those who did make it.

Next up is making sure they get here at an appropriate time. If Token Northy tells you he's leaving for dinner with Lady Northy at half seven, it only seems okay to tell people to turn up at half eight. When he's still in the house at twenty-five past eight. Worry... Send texts, divert the people. Don't arrive back in the house with a ton of food and drink. Nothing quite gives away a party like loading boxes of beer and frozen cocktail sausages from your car into a house right in front of the subject's nose.

Finally, co-ordinate with your decoy. Swap numbers. Be able to text/call each other at a moments notice to warn of impending arrival. Don't send facebook mail to someone sitting down eating dinner with the subject because you've forgotten to give her your number. Turns out the surprise was on us... when he pulled up outside the house and we had no idea. Lady Northy had tried to warn me, but I'd forgotten to give her my number... ahem.
Mind you, he still got a surprise. The whole "week before" thing still threw him off, and like all good friends his only suspicion was that I was planning a practical joke involving something to do with his destruction... I've been planning such destruction for some time now. Plus, any day with two cakes in it is a success. Thanks Pixie Head... look at the carrot-birthday cake... awesome.

For my next surprise I'm going to