Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Thing 140 Make A Scarecrow

First of all, there are no, or at least very few crows out my back garden. Building a scare crow seems redundant. We've no crows to scare. Only other option is building an inanimate object in the hope that it magically becomes sentient and we all go on a magical journey. No? Ya that's stupid. How 'bout we just build a Token Northy Scare Crow to replace the housemate who's been out of the gaff for the last month? Okay. Good. Let's do that.

Couple of jokes that I have toget out of the way now: Token Northy has scared off his fair share of birds in his time. Well, Token Northy did always want a brain. Jeez, did Token Northy lose a few pounds? Token Northy looks a little stuffy these days... My god, I could keep going, but I might actually die laughing at my own hilarity... ahem.Spoon loves it...

Making a scarecrow is surprisingly easy. Two broom sticks, some crutches, an old railing, a paint can and a picture of your slightly demented house mate. Done and done. Also, some of his clothes. Now that I think about it, making a scarecrow sounds kind of creepy and weird. Time wise though, it's not exactly taxing. Just remember the secret ingredient is duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape.

There's many things I'm learning since this Project started - that I can make-and-do with a small budget in a sharp space and time is just one example. It's guaranteed to frighten off crows, burglars, cats, cars, prospective mates, flies and Cork Football fans.

All of this for less than the time it takes to badly tape together a handful of stuff you didn't know was lying about your house? Can't go wrong.

Did you know that Scarecrows are actually still a valid tool for farmers? I saw one last week in Parteen and got a laugh. It just seems like it's anachronistic and belongs to a time long before now. We've millions of euros and we've advancements in farming technology and the most effective form of looking after crops from birds is a fake guy dressed in some old clothes. I love it.

Now if only I had some crows to scare... or I could just burn an effigy.... no? You spoil all my fun.
P.S. Looks like a real person, just very drunk... Am I right?


  1. I need a scarecrow to scare them birds away, keep stealing my glasses

  2. you should pick a lock with a hair pin... I did once when I locked my luggage lock keys into my backpack. and it worked! very satisfying. needless to say I bought better locks after that :D

  3. Scaring off prospective mates is one definite anyway ;)