Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Thing 113 Tweet

First and foremost: here's the Twitter account:

Right, I'm not about to make this my new "don't swear for a day" (for further information see the eighteen pitiful attempts at not using foul language, which apparently I can't shut up about), but there's no way I'm not trying to start a fire from scratch again. I need another shot. It's the manliest thing in the entire world. Fire. Oh yeah. Oops. Starting to sound crazy...

So anyway... couldn't start the fire from scratch. Myself and The Frenchman are blaming the materials. Our technique was perfect. It's a straightforward job; block of wood for base with some tinder, top block to stop wood-burn on your hand, slim post in between the two, entwined with a fire-bow. It's a bent piece of wood with some string in the middle. Hard to explain, just look at the pictures down at the bottom. It's there.

So, our technique was fine, our building was grand, but the material let us down. We could smell burning, but nothing took hold. Fail. Nearly decided to set something on fire out of spite. Which i guess is probably not a good attitude... If I set everything on fire that annoyed me, the Token Northy would be toast by now.
So I'm going again. I will achieve. I will set fire to some stuff. It'll be manly. I'll be tough and cool and things. The people required weren't here though. Big Mac can set fire to things with some blue tac, a paper clip, half a straw and a day old copy of Ireland's Own. The Canuck can set fire to logs with his eyes. All I had was a damn Token Northy, Pony Boy and The Frenchman. Pixie Head was there too. She'd have been more use except that Pony and Token stole her material... bullies.

So fails all round.
See? Failure.
So anyway, I live a life of objections. Twitter? No. I object. It's popular and people seem to love it. So I want no part of it. Sushi? It's a fad - I'm against it. Fashion? I know nothing about it, and if it's popular then it's probably lame. I'm out. I'm not getting on to this Twitter thing either. Mind you, I did have a brush with fame when Stephen Fry tweeted about me, but that's a different story. The point is, I wanted to dodge the twitter bullet... but no longer. I caved. I tweeted. I signed up and added an account and now I'm part of that thing that I wanted nothing to do with.

Here's what I tweeted:

Fail fail fail... Start a fire from scratch my arse. Fetch the wine, it shall compensate...

So I've had wine to compensate for two failures today.

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