Monday, August 9, 2010

Thing 118 Smoke A Pipe

It has been said before, but I'll say it again: The Frenchman has a camera that makes things look fifty to one-hundred percent better than real life. Check out the mysterious man silhouetted with a pipe... (and now for the hook...) it's me! I didn't realise my head looks so dome-like.

So, to the task at hand: Thorny Wire and me both had a few chats about this over the years, and our minds haven't changed since. Between our Granda's cigar habit, and Uncle Russel's pipe, my Nana's gaff always smelled really cool. If Uncle Russel was visiting from the U.S. then the living room would have a wall of smoke thick enough to walk on between the two gents and the television. It was class.

The thing with cigars (I've always been partial to a good cigar by the by), is that they're cool no matter who's smoking them. Good guys: Hannibal from the A-Team, Fidel Castro, Winston Churchill. Bad guys: Bill Cosby, Al Capone. Just some of the fine examples.

Pipes are different though. It takes a certain amount of class to smoke a pipe and not look like a walking anus. Mark Twain, William Faulkner, my Uncle Russel, Bing Crosby (beats the hell out of Bill Cosby right?), Hugh Hefner all looked cool with a pipe. I realise this list isn't exhaustive, feel free to add more in the comments below, don't give out if I've forgotten someone - it's been a long day.

As I say, it takes a degree of class. And attitude. If you don't have them, you're going to look good god damn ridiculous...

We are all aware that the pipe smoker belongs to a breed apart from other men. His pleasures are contemplation and relaxation; he does not rush, he is not nervous. His joys are the casual and meditative ones, those of the fireside, the easy chair, and the good book. The pipe stands as a symbol of this type of man, easily recognized by his even frame of mind, his unhurried approach to life's problems. It is almost always just such a man who chooses a pipe as his path to smoking enjoyment.

Them's the words of Carl Weber in 1962. And damn if they're not a little inspirational. They're not terribly common though are they? You don't see every second chap in a beer garden enjoying his pint with a pipe do you? It's probably why pipe smokers stick out when you see them, and why you always remember that cousin who used to smoke a pipe... So where do I get my hands on one?

Pony Boy. The man loves his pipe. I've borrowed it just for this Thing. Look at it there, all elegant and classy looking. I can see myself as an old man with one of these things. I had to put on the dressing gown. It didn't seem right to smoke a pipe without it.

Sadly I don't have the look to pull it off - I'll not be able to get away with smoking one of these in public, not until I'm at least fifty I think.

Ah well... cigar's will do till then.


  1. Looking hot Dan! Reckon you're right about the camera making you look better than real life :-p

  2. It's all about Max Landa. Now that guy can work a pipe.