Friday, August 6, 2010

Thing 115 Brazilian Wax

I love how salons do this advertising. Nice smooth feminine leg, comfy looking white towels, gentle manicured hands on a waxing strip that looks like it's made of clouds and happiness. Imagine the hands are a man's hands and the leg being waxed is my sweaty man-bits, and now picture searing pain on those man bits. This is the difference between reality and advertising.

Analytics tells me I have six regular readers in Minnesota, so for their benefit - Ray Darcy is the presenter of a national radio show on weekday mornings. He's also, along with Siobhan and the rest of his team, been an absolute legend for helping me to organise and execute some of the Things on the list.

So now imagine the waxing on national radio. With the swearing and the sadism and the man filming me while someone I don't know handles my junk. Honestly, I don't like people seeing me change before a swim. I think that letting someone else touch my bits was probably as big a deal as letting them rip out the hairs downstairs was.

The women of the country listening all broke themselves laughing while the men all cringed in unison. Thousands of women all knowing the pain better than any man, listening to me scream my way through ten minutes or so of ripping agony. Thousands of blokes all cringing on my behalf, and being relieved it's not them. Thanks for the empathy fellas. Don't ever do it. I'm not kidding.

So now I'm sitting on my ass, and my junk feels weird.

Male grooming is important. Not in any major way, but considering the amount of effort the ladies make, it's the least we can do. Bit more attention with the razor. Splash out on some fancy aftershave. Gel or mousse or something for the hair, as I say it's the least we can do.

I draw the line at waxing. There are some things that can and should remain undone for men. Unless you can do it painlessly - I've heard rumours of a technique which doesn't involve strips. Apparently Wax Works in Limerick does it. I'm not sure I'd be able for it again though...

Apparently I draw the line at my speedo-line...


  1. Yay Minnesota! We love you here! Well, I love you and I'm from Minnesota, so that's almost the same.

  2. Yup, wax works does it. It's a thick wax that looks like pink hubba bubba chewing gum. It hardens up and then the nice lady peels it off. It is slightly less hurty but still hurts like hell! She even gives you a loyalty card.

  3. thank you, I havnt laughed as much in AGES!! I was just catching up with the project after my holidays, when I watched the u-tube clip i laughed so much I nearly puked!

  4. I admire you for trying to understand what we, ladies, have to go through by trying out a Brazilian wax. It may seem awkward and painful at first, but once you’ve been used to it, you’d begin to realize its benefits and why we pay such a price for beauty and hygiene. Anyway, I thank you for the laughter and for showing a brave act!

    Justine Cricks