Sunday, August 29, 2010

Thing 136 Send A Message in a Bottle

It's not an SOS to the world... it's a message in a bottle. Alright, enough Sting jokes already. One is more than enough. The modern world is a small little place. There's no where you can't go to in less than a day, and then there's email, telephones, and webcam. I rang Thorny Wire for a chat, he lives in Detroit at the moment, then I sent an email to someone in Cork. That's practically another country too. Except worse.

I jest, Cork people are lovely... ahem...

I was in Kerry, where there's less internet than there is in the rest of Ireland, so I'm late with the blogging, sorry about that. There's not a lot of Wireless signal in Barrow. What they do have is lots of scenery, lovely Tralee and miles of coastline. I like coastline. I like the sea in general. I like its grandness and how vast it is- that's because I'm little. I think we've covered this before. I mean, the chances of anyone ever receiving my message is about a billion to one... here's hoping. Considering the odds that would have to be overcome in order to reach someone, I thought I'd write something profound...

Here it is...

Dear Stranger,

That you’re reading this is a testament to chance. There are millions of reasons which, even barely aligned, should prevent you from ever laying eyes on this. You may not even understand these words, in which case, this message means the same to you as this sentence: hughtryfhyy fhryeldiciskd transmagadavan anbanjuality, syntex prodigy sassyboodle, bochra john de coppernich, ruction fain rain of fawn, the dumb-bells and the glossy peaks of Erin Go Brath…

So, in retrospect, good job.

So now you’re reading what I don’t expect human eyes to ever see again. I should make it profound. The message should be important. And so here it is:

Steven Gerrard is over-rated. He’s a good footballer, not a great one. I’ve won as many Premier League medals as Stevo.

This is the message I send into chance. It lacks the eternal significance of something more meaningful. But I guess I’m kind of shallow. Anyway…

I’m Dan. I write a bit, I do silly things for fun and hope that they teach me something, or at least give me a few laughs. Actually, I’d prefer the latter, I’ll just take the few laughs thanks.

Anyway, if you do ever get this I’d like to know your thoughts on Steven Gerrard, and on the possibility of you ever seeing this.

Drop me a mail – email address goes here… or check out some of the other silly things I’ve done –



I'll have you know I'm seriously committed to this project. So much so, that I drank most of a bottle of Rosé zinfandel. That'll tell you how much resolute I am. It was awful.

Message was fun though. Mind you, I feel a little bit bad about the pollution - I hope whoever finds it recycles.


  1. Would it not last longer being a plastic bottle?

  2. ...a glass bottle takes 1 million years to decompose...

  3. Glass goes smashy smashy on rocks