Monday, August 2, 2010

Thing 111 Don't Swear for a Day

I did it. I f***ing did it. Take that everyone else.

F*** yeah! Get in there.


Oh man. That was unpleasant. I realise that boasting about it and being thrilled with myself because I managed to go one day without swearing is lame, and beyond stupid, but I don't give a good god-damn. I guess the old saying is true. Nineteenth time's the charm.

Here's a list of things that I'll be swearing at tomorrow:
The lady who cut into the lane in front of me at the Parkway Roundabout this evening on my way back to town. Nice. Just because you're driving a brand new Merc does not mean that you own the road. I'm going to dedicate ten minutes to swearing at you.

The name Thacary. I'm going to swear at the name Thacary. Pixie Head... you know why...

The Canuck. Because the last time I tried this he spent time, effort and money on attempting to make me fail. In fact, there's a good chance he'd have been successful if I'd seen him today. He's just one of those people that you like swearing at. You know the type? Sure. We all know the type.

Sour milk.

The word "irregardless". It's not a word. What you probably meant to say was regardless, or irrespective. Combining these two does not make a word. It makes a mess of two words.

My guitar. For playing it is stressful and I'm not very good at it (yet). So while practicing this morning, and failing, I was unable to properly vent frustration and I actually used the word "flip". For flip sake I said. I felt like Ned Flanders. I went back to bed in shame.

My alarm on my phone. It's the most annoying noise in the entire world, and typically when it goes off I hit snooze and curse at it a little as I roll over and go back to sleep. Not so today. I'm going to have to double up tomorrow.

It's little use in saying that this Thing has taught me much. I have a mouth like a pirate. I will endeavour to limit my swearing in certain situations, but not all that much. I enjoy swearing. It's cathartic. I like the flexibility the F-Word gives me - verb, noun, adjective. It's a word for all seasons. I really like the fact that the girls in college managed somehow to make the C-Word into a term of endearment, and I like using it on them. Especially for you 7-Times.

So it's done now. No more days wasted on shoddy efforts at behaving myself that I was never that keen on anyway. From here on out it's potty-mouth or no talking at all...

Here's a video for fun. I hope you like the F-Word...


  1. So you finally managed to stop fucking swearing for one fucking miserable fucking day. What do you want, a fucking medal, you fuckface fucker. Congratu-fucking-lations and fuck you

  2. Iv been trying to do this challenge after seeing you mention it on here...15 fails and counting. Thanks a lot, you b*****d, I'd not have noticed my profanity if it wasn't for you!!

    amazing scene from curb your enthusiasm