Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Thing 169 Naked Housekeeping

Yep. That's says naked housekeeping. In case you thought your eyes were deceiving you. I spent several hours this afternoon cleaning the house, in the nip. A few things wrong with that. Outside of the general wrongness of being in the nip in your kitchen; I'm uncomfortable with my own nudity. Seriously. I'm the guy that wears boxers into the team shower. I'm the guy that wraps a towel about himself even when it's only dudes present. I just don't like being naked. You know what I like less than being naked? Being naked and having some men take a picture of it. That's why I've got the oven tray in front of my junk.

It goes without saying that there are appropriate situations for nudity. What I mean to say is... Ahem. What I'm getting at is... You know when it's that time, and you're in company...

Anyone else uncomfortable with this blog? Me too... moving on....

There are services in the States where you can hire private naked housekeepers. Seriously. Former strippers who pop over to your gaff and clean up in the nude. Then some guys got hold of the idea, and decided they'd get in on the act. According to a reliable source, men cleaning is a turn on for women. Mean cleaning in the nip - that's over kill.

Mind you... Is there anyone out there that really needs to see me cleaning nude? Didn't think so.
As you can see, the gaff badly needed cleaning, and there was no one home, so why not? As long as there's no one about to see it, it can't be a bad thing. We've no neighbours with a good view of our kitchen or living room (as long as the curtains are closed), and the lads were all at work. No harm no foul right?

Who'd have guessed that Pony Boy was going to arrive home an hour or so early from work? Honestly? Who? God bless the man, he'll be having nightmares about my two big white ass cheeks at the kitchen sink, while I sang '50's music and cleaned the pots (not a euphemism) till the day he dies.

Not the way you want to come home from work is it? Only in this house. I think The Frenchman was counting his lucky croissants that he didn't get home early from work. Too right to be honest.

It was a strangely liberating experience, I have to say. People with colds/flus/massively debilitating man infections which may potentially kill them (that was for you Thief - I want my sympathy), shouldn't really be strutting their stuff in the nip, but as housekeeping went, this was the most fun I've had cleaning in a while.

Some '50's Rock N Roll on the ipod, and not a stitch on my backside... I should clean like this more often. Except I wont. Obviously.

I do dare you to try it though. Wait till everyone's gone out of the gaff. Turn on some music you really can bop to. Stick on a pair of slippers, and nothing else but a smile and get some serious housework done. When you feel as dirty and ashamed of yourself as I do, drop me an email and we'll start a support group for people uncomfortable with their own nudity.


  1. so glad I wasn't there for this!

  2. I still cant get over how scundered you get when youve to be in the nip. I nearly wet myself laughing watching you squirm at the idea of us taking photos of this one :-D

  3. Nothing like walking around, watching tv when in the nip - obviously when nobody is at home :D

  4. If you're that freaked by naked housekeeping, does that mean you've never gone skinny dipping?!

  5. Dude I hope thats not my baking tray hiding your manhood lol :S

  6. I’m glad to see that the mutant family gene, so prevalent in our line, has finally found a personification in yourself DP3rd :)
    Your Cousin In Cork,