Monday, September 6, 2010

Thing 145 Spelling Bee

First of all, irony is: the "w" has fallen off the "Welcome Home" sign, making it look as though none of us can spell "welcome". Cruel irony. Second of all: Token Northy absolutely hates losing at spelling to me! I love winning at spelling. I prefer winning at the expense of the Token Northy.

I'm an asshole like that. You can tell from the victory pose. Token Northy can be an asshole too. You can tell from his losers' pose.

Now it's important to note: I didn't think up this particular Thing. The Thief thought it up, I just added the beer part. It was her stroke of genius that made this possible, but then she got cold feet and was afraid to get into this tangle of heavyweight spellers... I won't lie. It was a vicious spelling bee from start to finish. She was probably right to stay out, but now we'll never know which of us can spell better.
So, I wanted to be in the Spelling Bee so badly that I had to beg Little Flower and Pony Boy to arbitrate. And what a job they did. Pony Boy couldn't resist sticking in a few tricks from the technology side. The laptop spoke the words if someone wanted to hear their word in a sentence. They also chose an excellent range of words...





Kudos to both of them. They also ruled the spelling bee with iron fists. Which seems odd. Little Flower is entirely too nice for that. Pony Boy on the other hand... ahem.
To be fair, most of the competition don't look like they're up to much do they? Big Red, Spoon and The Frenchman. Valiant losers... sorry guys. I'm a terrible winner.
Also competing; Lady Awesome Mermaid Elegance and Cat Lady.

There's a reason spelling bees appeal to me so much. I'm a grammar nazi. I can't abide text speak. I know it's very middle class and more than a little snobby, but I seriously loathe bad spelling, absent grammar and literary shortcuts in general. Plus, I read, a lot. And I've got one of those fancy English degrees that's worth absolutely nothing in real life, but stands you well if you're planning on holding a drinking spelling bee in your house.

Straightforward rules: First round, correct answers progress. Incorrect answers compete against one another to stay in the competition. But then that was taking too long, so we gave everyone three lives, and the last man (or woman) standing wins.

Last man standing? Me. So few and far between are my wins these days that I decided to do the dog on the celebrations... Little bit over the top. Hence the reason it's so late coming to you.

Sorry about that.

P.S. Thief... we've still got a reckoning coming. Me versus you.... it's coming and you know it is.


  1. How am i the thief? It was in fact u that stole my idea u pompous git! The ultimate showdown is on.

  2. Ha, I'm Lame. How clever. Least I got my Lady Awesome! VICTORY!