Friday, April 30, 2010

Thing 17 Wear Women's Underwear

Don't they look lovely... No? Didn't think so either. Ladies, let me applaud you all on your ability to endure the world's most shockingly uncomfortable undergarments... Seriously. For anyone double-taking right now, stop worrying; I couldn't last more than three hours of not talking so I had to pick a new Thing. Honestly - me trying not to talk? I'll try again next week.

So anyway, back to your uncomfortable clothes ladies. High heels? Why do you bother? They look like pain, and we have to carry them when you're sick of them and drunk at the end of the night. Skin tight dresses? Why would you? Wearing something that hurts you when you breathe isn't a smart idea, even though you do look exceptionally awesome... As for your underwear... holy shit.

I'm just glad I didn't buy a g-string.

When I put on the crap this morning I didn't think much of it. A little weird but not bad. By the time I'd passed the two hour mark I'd nearly spent as much time with my hand on my ass, trying to stop the thing crawling places I didn't want it to as I had without. On top of that, we're not anatomically built the same way as the ladies, and therefor certain bits of the lady garments aren't made for holding certain bits of the male anatomy....

You know where I'm coming from, I don't need to spell this out.

So as forfeit's go, and this was definitely a forfeit after last night's Not Talking failure, this one couldn't have been a worse one to pick. It was long, painful, uncomfortable, embarrassing and the cause of many, many jokes for Dr Frasier, Token Northy, Pony Boy and Thorny Wire.

I'll be glad to be done with them. Honestly. And they've never looked worse on anyone.

In a seperate note, I've done my last run before my 26.2 mile run on Sunday... Stupid God Boy, I'll show you for calling me fat...

And on an extra seperate note, check this shit out....

They printed the letter!!! Who'd have thunk it... Anyway, I'm delighted with myself, even though I had to read my first publication with pink polka-dot lady underpants on...

Here's hoping tomorrow's a better day...


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