Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thing 201 Wrong Way Around a Roundabout

Remember the cycling through Drive-Thru Thing? Well this is kind of like that. It makes no sense, it's not really supposed to. I'm kind of kooky like that. I don't invest a lot of my time into making sense. I just wanted to do it. In fact, I've always wanted to do it...

There's a little switch in my head, I think, which, when tripped, will cause me to do the opposite of what is conventional and socially acceptable. It's a liberating feeling to do something that is plain wrong, and goes against what's been socially built into us. Well, not all the time, skipping queues for example is just plain disgraceful, and spitting or urinating in public is never going to be okay, but little things like this... well they're just empowering.

Thing is though, driving the wrong way around a roundabout is highly illegal, and massively dangerous, not to mention monumentally stupid. So there's a delicate act to doing it. First of all; pick a private roundabout in a private area. An example of a place that I thought was private but is actually public property is a University or college campus. Secondly; scout for other traffic. Scouting is a delicate and unusual procedure involving looking in many directions. Here's an example of what not to do: Sort of look around, then drive onto the roundabout correctly, realise there's traffic and then just do circles for a bit before chickening out and driving away. Thirdly; have an escape plan.

After bottling it and legging it from the roundabout, I waited, biding my time, till the coast was clear. The Thief, God Boy, The Canuck and The Frenchman all stayed stum... A gap... go for it...

People who don't know how to drive on roundabouts infuriate me. Technically, this means I spent a few minutes infuriating myself. It's a strange sensation, turning left while driving on the roundabout. Like I said earlier, we've been socially conditioned to know how to drive on these, and years of repeating the same pattern have taught us how it's done, and what's the correct way. It's not easy overriding that. And when you do, it's a bizarre feeling. I've never turned left on a roundabout before...

Now for the escape plan... Eh... wait... How does one exit a roundabout if one is driving the wrong way. The Frenchman panicked: "How do we get off this thing..." He literally roared it. The others started laughing. I just drove around in circles until I got my bearings. I pulled off the roundabout...


Someone slapped The Frenchman to calm his hysteria. Surreal moment. No lie.


  1. What happened to all the cool things on the list ???

  2. "After bottling it"

    So you drove the wrong way around a roundabout while drunk? For shame Dan, for shame

  3. Literally sitting here laughing... My laugh has just scared the sisters boyfriend too, up until now he has never witnessed the horror that is my laugh! Thanks for that!