Monday, February 21, 2011

Thing 297 Star Wars Marathon

It's a wonder that I have a girlfriend. It's a wonder that I'm ever even taken seriously. Scratch that second one, no one takes me seriously. The reason that I scratch my head over such things is that I'm a giant nerd. I own DVDs of series' of Star Trek. I can recite passages of Monty Python movies. I laugh at xkcd. I reference xkcd in sentences. I own all six Star Wars movies.

On top of this, and it only makes matter worse, I'm relatively pleased about it. It gets me laughed at by some of my work colleagues, and I know it exasperates The Thief from time to time, but I enjoy being a nerd. It's not for everyone, and I don't expect you all to immediately get on board with all things Jedi, but it's right up my street.

Another list item that's been there since the first day. I've wanted to do it about fifteen times, but I always put it off, because I wanted the day to be just right. Conditions had to be perfect. How sad is that? I wanted conditions to be perfect for when I sat down to watch thirteen or so hours of science fiction movies.
The first dilemma is what order to watch them in: Episodes IV, V and VI (that's four, five and six if you're not from ancient Rome) were made in the 1970's, with their prequels launched in the early 2000's in the form of episodes I, II, III. So far the movies have made over four point four billion. Amazing isn't it?

The dilemma comes from the fact that episodes one and two, which have stars like Liam Neeson, Ewan MacGregor, Natalie Portman and the dddddreadful Hayden Christensen are just awful, while the original three, which actually come after the later movies, were awesome. Particularly since they've been digitally remastered to get over the occasionally crappy CGI, which would have blown your mind wide open if you'd seen it in the '70's. It was revolutionary back then.

I opted for the plot-line option. Start with the early episodes, play through to the good ones. Started at three in the day, or thereabout, I was still a little shook from my night as a woman, which turned into a late one. So myself and Pony Boy, with some occasional visits from Little Flower and The Frenchman, settled down to watch the greatest movie saga of our time unfold.

The amount of popular TV references to Star Wars is shocking. Family Guy, The Simpson's, How I Met Your Mother, Friends as well as countless movies, constantly reference Star Wars. "May the Force be with you" is now a commonly overheard term. The Dark Side is well known, and the famous "I am your father" line is one of the most widely known dramatic moments of all time. Because you see, Star Wars has bridged way more lines than people think. Yes, nerds do enjoy it more than the rest of you, but that doesn't mean that many people who do not have nerdish tendencies don't enjoy the movies. I dare you to watch them...

So without further ado, in the descending order of awesomeness, here's the six movies:

1: A New Hope 2: Return of the Jedi 3: Empire Strikes Back 4: Revenge of the Sith 5: Attack of the Clones 6: Phantom Menace

Anyone reading that list who's not watched the movies and doesn't care is currently shrugging their shoulders apathetically. Anyone who has seen them is getting ready to dispute me. I invite all forms of animated nerd discussion...

I finished watching, all alone, I might add, at just before five am. Yep. That's thirteen or so hours of science fiction. Talk about a pig in shit. I'd a big cheesey grin on all day. As I said, I like being a nerd, and those movies, are pretty much our bible. The only bad thing is that now that it's been done, I'm unlikely to ever watch all six in a row again.

Oddly enough, that makes me a little sad! In the emotional way, not the pathetic way, all though that could be argued too... I'm not going to though.


  1. No WAY are the digitally remastered versions better than the original theatrical releases!

    Lucas didn't just pretty up the effects, he changed vital parts of character development... and not for the better.

    In the original Star Wars movie, Han shot Greebo pre-emptively in the cantina (ouch painful). In the CGI'd version, he returned fire. BOO HISS!

  2. In the digitally remastered version, Hayden Christiansen appears along with yoda and Obi Wan at the end of Return of the Jedi.


  3. I know lad, I did kind of hate that last bit too... Sean; sorry lad, but I was impressed with most of it. Northy's right though - the Christiansen bit was irritating like hell.

  4. Watched it last week, having forgotten the annoying last bit. Christ that last bit is annoying.