Sunday, February 13, 2011

Thing 292 Time Capsule

It's one of the things that apparently drives all people in the entire world. A deep seeded need to leave something behind for another time. Something of our time. A legacy of ourselves. Mine's buried in my Ma and Da's back garden. None of this children or artwork nonsense for me. No sir (or madam). For me a USA biscuit tin stuffed with crap that someone thirty years from now may or may not give a rat's ass about.

I included a bunch of stuff, a CD, a DVD, a bottle of wine, some money, a copy of the day's paper and a note... Here's the very note, and this is what I wrote...

Hello Future Person,
First and foremost, allow me to clear up any confusion for you. You're only in the future from my perspecitve, it's still the present to you, so don't panic. You're not the one travelling in time, that's what this letter is doing. I'm writing this on the last day of January in the year 2011. I'm hoping that this letter doesn't see day light until some time after the start of the year 2031. I'm also hoping it's not me who goes digging for it. My kids, or my nieces and nephew, or, god forbid, Token Northy's kids. If you're reading this tiny Nelli, welcome to the back garden of my parents house... now get off my property. I'm kidding. You're more than welcome.

The point of the items included here is to give you an idea of life back in my time. I've included the following: A bottle of wine. If you're old enough to appreciate it, and I hope you are, it's been aging for twenty years. Should be delicious. Don't sell it on ebay. If you're not old enough to appreciate it, give it to your parents, don't drink it behind the school with your Canadian friend. He'll only get you in trouble. Or you'll get him in touble. Either way, thirteen years later you may be stuck getting each other in trouble all the time.

I've also included a newspaper. It's a means of telling people what's going on in the world. It contains current affairs; politics, sport, opinion pieces, economic news, health news, personal information. It's being suggested in this year, that the newspaper in its printed form will be dead within the next ten years. I can't ever imagine that happening, but lots of smarter people than I are predicting this. That's why the first half of this paragraph explains the context of a newspaper. If I'm correct, and newspapers are not dead in the year 2031 then you've just suffered the most patronising three lines of text that I've ever written. Sorry about that. It's today's paper. Not normally a fan of the Sunday Independent, but there was no Times left, and toilet paper doesn't count as a broadsheet, even if you can use a broadsheet as toilet paper. If you'd like a brief summary of the news today:

Fianna Fail are screwed in the upcoming election, as their current government has completely fallen apart. In Egypt, thousands of people have literally had enough of their Government's shit, and they're doing something about it. Our economy here in Ireland is in tatters. And I mean shreds, but there's some hope we'll start recovering by the end of this year. Fingers crossed.
In the sport's section: Manchester United rule, and everyone else blows chunks. I'm paraphrasing of course, and I'm a little biased, but you'll have that I think.

I've also included a CD. That's compact disc. It's definitely going to be obselete excpet as a retro/vintage gift to give to an older cooler relative. This CD is Dire Straits, Brothers in Arms album. It's amazing. Money for Nothing is possibly one of the best rock songs ever.
I've included a receipt for some grocery shopping. I'm not sure if you'll have abolished wealth as Star Trek has suggested to me, but if not, here's how much things cost now (prices in euro and cent): 2litres of milk: 2.38. Butter: 1.25. Sliced pan: 1.25. Eggs:2.26. I hope the receipt hasn't faded too much.

Here are a few predictions I'd like to prognosticate for your amusement:
Newspapers will still exist. CDs will be obselete. Gaelic Games players will be fully professional and the games will have spread throughout Europe, their popularity growing yearly. The United States will no longer be a superpower. China will not be communist. The euro will be the world's strongest currency. The middle east crisis will never be solved.

Here's hoping I'm right about some things. Wrong about others. If we haven't broken the internets again, then look up and you'll see why I've done this. You'll also see some photos of me and my buddies.

See you in the future.

Dan Mooney

Personally I think the note says it all... so there's no point in continuing this blog further...

But I love going on and on and on, so I'll continue: Here's hoping this one sees the light of day some time. I know that my message in a bottle has never been answered, and in all likelihood, never will. Think of the shock I'll get years and years down the line when some gets in touch to say they found it. I really hope that gaff still belongs to my folks...

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