Sunday, February 6, 2011

Thing 282 Rip a Phonebook in Half

I hope that there video loaded correctly, in the event that it did not: Click Me! Click me!!!

At the very end of the video you can hear two things: One is The Thief giggling like a child. The other is Pony Boy providing the greatest analysis of a half minute video ever: "Like the Incredible Sulk instead of Incredible Hulk..."

Chuckle chuckle chuckle... People would want to start being nicer to me, now that I've discovered how to rip phonebooks in half, you know, tread lite, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry and all that junk.

Alright, if I'm going to level with you, and I'll pretty much have to, the instructions are right next to my video on YouTube, there's a trick to this one. Dr Frasier suggested the idea of showing a manly show of strength, you know, to try to put Token Northy in his place a little. Phonebook ripping was his initial thought. It's fine having thoughts like that when you're built like that man, but at tiny-foot and short-inches with what some may call a "portly bearing", it's not like I walk around considering what's the things I can rip apart.

Still, he persisted and he let me in on a little secret- ripping a phone book in half is easy. Anyone can do it... except maybe The Thief... she's a wee bit wimpy. It's not nearly as hard as you'd imagine, Superman makes it look easy in Family Guy too. I spent ages searching for a clip (ages can be defined as anything from thirty-seconds upwards), but couldn't find it. Effectively the Family Guy joke is that a prostitute makes a crack about Superman being "faster than a speeding bullet", so he "tore her in half like a phonebook".

If you're easily offended you shouldn't have read that part, and if I was more organised I'd have put that piece of advice before the slightly offensive material. Oh well.

It conjures up and image of the immense strength Superman has. Fraud. He probably used the same YouTube tutorial that I did. In fact, everyone should. Get ripping. Click here to find out how...

Effectively it's just air gaps caused by creasing the phone book. Oddly enough, the principle of the thing is such that the bigger the book, the easier it should be to rip... Alright, I get that this was a fraud of a Thing. You look at the title of the blog and start thinking I'm double-rock hard. Men everywhere cower behind couches. Women swoon in admiration. Superheroes run in fear. Then it turns out an internet guy taught me how... I'm the Milly Vanilly of bloggers.

I'm still pretty chuffed with it. I'm saving it on my camera and showing people the next time I hit the bar... bouncers think they're so great just 'cause they're tall... hey wait... I AM the Incredible Sulk...

1 comment:

  1. Dammit! This was my party trick! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE BY LETTING OUT MY SECRET! :(