Thing 260 Buy Playboy, Read Articles

No one is ever, ever going to believe this. It's the classic line. "I only buy Playboy to read the articles". I might be the first person who was ever telling the truth.

The proof of this is that no one would ever subject themselves to having to read that much complete nonsense on a monthly basis. Mind you, you're reading this blog, so I guess some people will reading anything eh? I jest, thanks for visiting...

Honestly though, it's one of those lines you hear again and again on television. No one will admit to buying a magazine like Playboy just to look at naked women. It seems that there must be a justifiable intellectual reason to want to buy it. Mind you, considering the massive embarrassment of actually buying the thing...

What I should have done was gone to a shop that I never go to, as opposed to the shop where I regularly go to buy my newspaper. I haven't had the balls to go back in since I bought this stupid magazine. I went about seven shades of red, tried to pretend I was completely unbothered, and the girls behind the counter, who normally say hello and have a chat, they just avoided making eye contact and took my money. I felt dirty. I wanted to tell them it was just so I could read the articles, but who'd believe me?

Hell, even I wouldn't believe me, and I'm me.

So, the articles then...

An interview with Frank Gehry. He's an architect. It was five and a half million pages long. I've read interviews with geologists in National Geographic that were more interesting than this nonsense. The Playboy Advisor? Honestly, if I need to be taking advice from Playboy, then it's time to seriously look at my life and try to get some perspective. Notes on Jersey Shore? I'm starting to hate this magazine. An entire article on the style of UFC fighters. Not their fighting style, but the clothes they wear. I'll ultimate fight you in a minute... There was a decent piece on the Philosphy of Profanity that I found not unbearable, and the bit on the top cars of twenty eleven was okay too, but I'll be good and god-damned if I want to read the reviews of a decade of Playboy front covers...

Effectively, what we're talking about is a magazine that's one-hundred-seventy-six pages long, where roughly sixty five to seventy percent of content is filler, and the rest is naked ladies. Filler may as well have been photos of cats wearing hats.

You're getting the point here right? Anyone who tells you they buy Playboy to read the articles is a liar. Except me. I really did buy it to read the articles... Why are you looking at me like that...? Don't you dare judge me...