Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thing 228 Cocktails and Cupcakes Ball

Ever notice how super villains are always at fundraisers for charity? James Bond (or whatever hero you're having yourself) usually turns up too, to expose the bad guy. I've always wanted to go to a charity fundraiser. I could pretend to be James Bond or the bad guy, and for this one, I'd to wear a tux and everything. The problem is, that while every other man alive looks like 007 in a tux, I look like Bruce Wayne's butler's assistant... Honestly, I'm the only man alive to look this ridiculous in a tux.

Which brings me to my first lesson of the day. When trying to look fancy by getting yourself a waistcoat to wear with your tux, have someone smarter than you pick out the appropriate attire. When the guy in Tony Connolly's (they're the lovely people who let me be a mannequin for a day. Thoroughly lovely people) asked me what kind of tux to get, I half panicked... "I dunno... eh... a good one"? "All of our tux's are good ones". "Excellent", I said, "one of them then...". There's something particularly wrong with me having any kind of say in matters of fashion or style. You've seen what I look like right?

The next fun thing to learn about was exactly how long it takes for a man to get ready for a night out. The Canuck had plans to hit the town. Drink a few pints of Guinness and play him some guitar. Jacko, The Thief and I had a spare ticket to the Cocktails and Cupcakes Ball. The cab had already been called when we told The Canuck he was coming with us. You'll note I said told him, not asked him. By the time the cab got to the house, ten minutes later, he was suited and booted. He'd even taken the time to comb his awesome handlebar moustache and slap a bit of gel in the hair. Only the lord in heaven knows how long it took for the girls to get ready, but it was the best part of all day. The Canuck: horrible to handsome in ten minutes. Classy dude...

By the way, in the background there; that's a giant cupcake tiered cake... I think I might be in love with it.
The weirdest thing of the day though, by a long way, was going to Thomond Park, not in a Munster jersey, not even to watch rugby. Going there in a tux, for a ball? It just seemed wrong. Really well done though. Smashing function room, and Heritage Green were the band, so we got to see Barry Murphy and Felix Jones, in Thomond Park, and it had fuck all to do with rugby. Things like this upset me greatly. As you may have guessed; I'm easily upset.

So fair play to all concerned, the event was a fundraiser for Pieta House, which is the centre for the prevention of self harm. It's an excellent and worthy cause. They're opening in Limerick now. Worth shelling out a few bob for that kind of cause. Not worth shelling out a few bob to look like Alfred's butler... Stupid tux...


  1. You didnt say you asked him, or told him. you said "we talk the canuck he was coming".
    Sounds like half a haiku...

  2. Don't know what you're talking about lad... ahem...