Thing 235 Half and Half, Inaugural Saturday

Welcome to the world's most horrendous creation. If X Factor and Big Brother could have a child, it wouldn't touch off the idea of pouring Guinness on top of lager. It's called the Half and Half. It spotted it when I was one hols in the US once. Once is an incorrect assessment. I spent several hours in The Legion bar on City Island, New York and many people consumed many pints over many of these hours and many of these were Half and Halfs. And I was disgusted many times. When I voiced my objection, many old American men told me that I knew nothing - I told them I worked in a bar. They cared not at all. I swore on that day that I'd never pull a Half and Half.

I broke that promise to myself...

More importantly though, it was also Cobblestone Joe's inaugural Saturday night. This was the real Thing. First Saturday night of a new bar. I've worked in plenty of bars. I love it. The banter, the messing, the jokes, the buzz. Lashing out drinks at a thousand miles an hour. Too busy to think, just keep joking and keep on sending drinks out as the punters shell out their hard earned cash on some good times.

This was different though. This was the first Saturday of a new bar kick starting its life in Limerick. Curious drinkers sticking their heads in for a look at the new spot. They want to know that the new bar staff are up to it. What's the porter like? What's the smoking area like? Are there lookers in there? That's an important one...

Here's where it gets weird:

I'd already decided since I was going to be pulling pints, that I'd pull a Half and Half. I'd drink it for myself as a reward for a hard night's work. I like to treat myself now and again. I felt just the slightest twinge of guilt that I'd be breaking my own promise. Then, midway through the night, two rugby fans made their way in, after the Munster match. One of them had an American accent. Guess what he ordered...?

What are the chances? It reminded me of the time with the four in a row on black in the casino. Half and Half. My nemesis.

Any drinker or admirer of Guinness will tell you that this is just not right. Like the Thing which involved downing a pint of Guinness in one go, it's wrong because it goes against my long established ways of drinking, and of socialising. It goes against the grain. It burns a hole in my soul.

To me there's nothing better than a well earned pint of Guinness after a day's work, or even after a day's watching of rugby, or even a day's sitting on the ass doing nothing. To bastardise it in this manner... to ruin it... it's not right.

Plus there's the physics to worry about. Will the Guinness actually float on top of the Lager? It did by the way. Much as I wished it wouldn't...

Anyway. I ruined some perfectly good Guinness. Even if the guy drinking it was chuffed to bits. He was chuffed I'd even heard of it to be honest. I was still too freaked out by the coincidence to explain about The Project...

Here's hoping he's reading...

Probably not...

In relation to the real Thing for the day. I loved it. I've missed bar work so much it's not even funny. The good music. The craic. The drink. The running back to tap kegs. Mind you, next time I see the inside of the place, I hope it's because I'm on the other side of the counter.