Thing 190 Destroy My Credit Card

I love hyperbole. It's my favourite. "How's the weather out there Dan?" Awful. Worst ever. I'll be sailing a boat home from town at this rate. "How did Munster get on Dan?". Amazing. Like fifteen juggernauts made out of bits of Wolverine... Hyperbole. It's a good way of communicating. Every so often though, it's weird. For the wrong reasons.

Example: Call from the bank at seven in the morning. There's a possibility that your credit card details have been leaked. Oh dear. What do I do? Well, we feel you should destroy your card...

Destroy it? Like Megatron was destroyed...? It's not like I plan on blowing it up, or compacting it in a car crushing machine. Destroy my card... I laughed at her a little. Seemed like sound advice though.

Then I started thinking about the Friends episode where they made Rachel cut up all her cards (yes, I realise I've watched way too much television, why do you think I'm doing this Project?). It's kind of an iconic image for turning your back on a rich lifestyle and trusting yourself to pay your way. I have no intention of doing that, not even a little, but I've never "destroyed" a credit card before.... so...

Fish tank:

Token Northy has a lovely little collection of fish. Cat Fish rules the tank with an iron fin, but there are some others in there too. Lets see how well the card likes it when it's sleeping with the fishes. That's how the mafia destroys somebody. Should have put some cotton balls in my mouth or something.

Bitch Method:

I left the card in another room and talked at length about how no one likes the card. It's not even that skinny. And it's so fake it's ridiculous. That magnetic strip isn't even real. All the other cards in my wallet pretend to like it, but secretly they hate it, and don't even want to hang around with it. That's how bitches destroy each other.

The Car Method:

This one's easy. Place card on ground. Reverse. Done.

The Sharp Knife Method:

Eh... what to say. Basically I took a sharp knife and cut it. As I say, I'm handy with a blade. Apparently.

It's the fact that the act of credit card destruction is so iconic that draws me to it. I could wish that there was more symbolism to the whole thing and that I was really going to live a life without credit cards. In an act of extremism, I'd also become a hippie and sell pants made out of hemp for a living... one's as likely as the other.

I jest.

Dare you to destroy yours...