Thing 309 Make Balloon Animals

Sadly there are no instructions (that I could find) online on how to make a balloon-tommy-gun, which was my intention (I've been watching The Mask recently), so I had to settle for balloon dog and balloon giraffe with ridiculously long tail for some reason. Like juggling, I had a particular motive in mind here. Bean Bag and Thorny Wire don't know this (and I'm not sure that they read this blog. Hmmmph), but I'm competing with them to be the favourite amongst our nieces and nephew. I'm losing badly, but I think balloon animals and juggling are going to put me over the edge.

Some things to note if you want to do this yourself: Normal balloon won't do. You've to buy really big balloons that are about a foot and a little bit long, and it's not possible to blow them up without a pump. Seriously. Attempting to blow them up on the strength of your own lung-power will end in embarrassment, a seriously red face and dizziness. Take my word for it. I do stupidity and embarrassment so you don't have to.

After that it's easy peasy. Except try not to grip too tight, or make twists too small as this results in bursting (of the balloon, not you) and the occassional girly yelp when you get a fright. Which is also embarrassing.
That's the unfortunate giraffe with gigantism of the tail. I'm damn near certain their tails' aren't that long, but as you're aware by now, I'm a tad stupid from time to time and the result is this.

The internet is choc full of instructional videos and websites which show you how to make the animals in a tone and language that seems to be addressing you as a four year old. Thankfully this is appropriate for me, but you might find it a little condescending. As I was reading I could practically hear the annoying kids' TV show make-and-do presenter voice.

I think I'm going to start using that voice about the house more often just to see if I get punched in the head. Which is a distinct possibility.

For no reason other than pure laziness, here's a sideways picture that I forgot to rotate, and am too lazy to bother with doing now. Also, since I'm way too easily distracted, I only made three and then called it a day, but not before Dr Frasier made a "poodle", which I really regret not having a photo of. That abomination had to be destroyed... oops, I mean "sent to a farm". A genius he may be, but Dr Frasier is no balloon animal maker...