Thing 359 Walk on Fire

Ammmm.... yeah. I just walked on fire. Eight hundred degrees hot burning wood embers. That photo behind there is a little dramatic, it wasn't burning like that when I walked across it. It was more like the third photo down. Go on, take a minute to scroll down and have a look see. I'll wait.

Still eight hundred degrees though. I went to the place knowing that I wanted to do it. You don't turn up at a fire-walk specifically not intending to walk. But I was waiting for the gimmick. The fake part that means that you're not really walking on fire. I was sure that bit was coming. It didn't. I was actually going to have to walk on fire. Actual fire.

Now if this was going to be the case, then some serious encouragement was needed. Duly provided by Brian Moore from Peak Potential. This guy is a motivational speaker. By the time we got around to walking on fire, we weren't nervous, hell, we were rearing to go and frankly, I think we scared ourselves a little with the intensity. More on that later.
The Barista took that photo after I'd gotten to the other side. It was awesome. He was actually the one who put me up to this. Into Arabica for a cup of coffee, sponsorship card for Special Olympics Ireland thrown into my hand, and an order to take part in the firewalk. The Barista is also the guy who using his neck, bent an 8mm diametre, six foot steel bar. With my help. I also used my neck to bend the steel bar.

I'm not kidding here guys. The whole point of the motivational speech was mind over matter. I'm entirely skeptical about these things so I tested the bar, it wasn't a fake, and it wasn't rigged, and I didn't use anything other than my neck to bend it. It was freaky. They'd psyched us up to the last. Positive thinking. It was a little freaky like I said. I got talked up to the point that I actually wanted to bend a steel bar with my neck. I wanted to put an 8mm bar into my throat and bend it without any help.
So after the talks, and the psyches up, and the positive thinking, and the encouragement, we walked out to that fourteen feet of burning hot coal embers, and if you'd tried to stop me I'd have pushed you out of the way. It was weird how intense we all were. There were eighty of us, ranging in all ages from about twenty to mid sixties.

I walked up to that burning pit, and when I was asked if I was ready I think I nearly shouted at the dude asking me. I walked, not too quickly, at a steady pace across the burning wood, looking straight ahead. It was room temperature at most. Honestly. I didn't feel a thing.

I bent a steel rod with my neck, and walked across burning wood embers without pain and without fear. I should have been afraid. Check out the disclaimer down below. I've to sign that in order to take part. It basically reads: If you get hurt walking on FIRE, and many people do get hurt WALKING ON FIRE, then it's not our fault because you agreed to WALK ON FIRE.

Alright, admittedly this blog is a little all over the place, mostly because I'm still kind of on a high from the walk. Tomorrow walking on normal ground is going to be boring.

Thing 358 Ignite Talks

Alright, I'll grant you that's a very grainy photo, but I don't think the ones that I took are any better, so Surfer Girl's come up with the goods, while Lou Lou has my camera. I'm a disorganised mess. Still, this is a cool event and it's a smashing idea. It's more of a Galway idea than a Limerick one, as in, it's the kind of thing you'd expect to find in Galway, but it was a sensation for Limerick. It's called Ignite Night.

Last night there were nine speakers. Each had a topic close to their heart. They each get five minutes to talk about their given topic while twenty different slides, each changing after fifteen seconds, play behind them. There's no longer than five minutes per speaker, so you can't possibly get bored, and every fifteen seconds you've a new photo/slide to look at.

If you're not getting the gist of what I'm saying, or couldn't be arsed exercising your imagination, then here's a little link that'll help. It's Ignite Night in Seattle, and a funny man is talking about how science is ruining his childhood... CLICKETY CLICK.

It's an amazing idea though, for a few reasons. Firstly, it's not for profit. No one makes money, miLKlabs, the collaborative responsible for setting up the event spent some serious money on putting it on, only to make no money. So if there's no money to be made, why is it on? Literally just so people can share ideas. Nothing else. Well, not nothing else, you're there to have some fun too, but mainly the idea sharing. No cover charge, free in.

Secondly, there's no limit or constraints on what gets talked about. It could literally be anything. In my case it was public humiliation in The Project. The guy on before me talked about weather information processed correctly can be turned into music through computers and programming. The guy before that talked about the music recording computer program he wrote. Try following two technical genii with some nonsense about embarrassing yourself in public. It was embarrassing, ironically enough.

Thirdly, the people there are there for the same reason you are, which is that they're interested in sharing something for no reason other than they think you might get a laugh. What the hell is wrong with that? Plus, it's another one of those alternative to drink things that are really out there if that's your thing.

Now for all the crap and junk in the Project that I've done that's embarrassing, and I talked about that stuff at length, you'd think there'd be nothing left in me to shame. Sadly, this is not true. I was terrified of the thing. I was freaking out over it. Me? Having a problem talking for five minutes? Are you serious? I never shut up. This should have been a cake walk. Instead I was freaking out and my palms were sweaty.

I was pleased about how it went though. I didn't completely fail, and there was some fun had. I want another one. I want Ignite talks. And not just so I can run my mouth, ones that I can turn up to and just see other people talking. Anyone hear of any in their area. Let me know.

Thing 357 Gone Fishin'

I badly wanted to hang a "Gone Fishin'" sign on the door of The Sluggery when I was leaving for this Thing. Except that's the dumbest idea in the entire world. That sign may as well say: "We're not home, rob us". Would it have been worth it just to hang that iconic sign? Probably not.

When I told Thorny Wire that fishing was my Thing for the day he asked me what kind of childhood I had. It was a strange question to come from my little brother. "The same childhood as you, oddball, and you didn't go fishing either...." Would have been a good point except that he's been fishing regularly since he was about nineteen.

It made me wonder how many other twenty somethings have never been fishing? I would have thought it's not that common a pastime that I should be mocked for never having done it, but then Dr Frasier put me to shame. I used to fish all the time he told me. With the greatest of respect to Dr Frasier, I really wasn't expecting that. He looks like the kind of guy who would have read every book on fishing ever, and be able to readily identify and tell you the history an genealogy of every fish you might come across, but I wasn't expecting that. It's funny how best friends can surprise you after years of hanging around.

He was as good as his word too. Or at least I think he was. Capable boat-rower, he also filled in the positions of Number One Officer, cabin boy, scullery maid and ship's doctor. Useful eh? I as the captain, obviously enough.

We went for a spot just outside Newmarket on Fergus, County Clare. It's called Rathlahine, and it's not hard to find from Limerick or Ennis. Thirty bucks a head gets you a boat for five hours, and you can rent lines if you need them. We only spent three hours out there. I assumed I'd be bored; you know, sitting around for three hours, nothing to do except cast and re cast for fish. It was a pretty fast three hours, and really relaxing.

I'm definitely getting old before my time. It was just so damn peaceful. Tranquil even. Wee just chilled out in our boat, waiting for fish to bite, shooting the breeze and not worrying. It was pretty cool. Think I'll do more of it. Except I'm expecting better results next time.

We caught, literally, nothing.

Not even an old tyre, boot or book of cliches. Nada. Which I think says a lot about our skills as fishermen. We were crap at it. Don't get me wrong, that didn't take from the event at all, but it would have been nice to have a fish or two to take home.

To add insult to injury, the pond itself was only restocked with fish a week before. I mean we literally had no excuse. Two oafs in a boat. We're not very outdoorsy, to be fair.
Next time I'm catching me something. Even if I've to use my hands to do it!!

Thing 356 Bell Ringing (Campanology)

When I was small, Nana used to bring me and Thorny Wire down to Clancy's Strand by the river. Across the Shannon, St Mary's Cathedral, which was built in 1168 (I tend to love old stuff, historical stuff) used to ring out every day. It wasn't just gong-gong nonsense, it was proper bell ringing, in tune and in time. I'd actually forgotten about that sound until Monday night.

Campanology is the art of bell ringing. It's not just pulling on a rope, any idiot with a pair of hands and half a brain who started a stupid Project can do that. This is an art, and it has competitions, serious teams who practice every week, and it's one of the oldest forms of art in the world. Also, it's another thing that Limerick people apparently kick ass at doing. The St Mary's Cathedral Bell-Ringers just won the South Division competition like three days ago. They won the All-Ireland in 2008. The Redemptorists Bellringers are several times champions.

The lightest of the bells in St Mary's is six hundred weight. The top weight bell is just over a ton and a quarter. That photo down below is not sideways, it's a ton a quarter of bell, re cast in 1907 being swung from a rope down below. Check it... a ton and a quarter...
The way it works: Eight bells, the smallest is called the "treble", the heaviest is the "tenor". Teble's away first with all the others in order of weight following after. The leader then calls a change, inserting one of the later bells in before an earlier one. For example a call of six-two, would mean the number six ringer now changes his tempo and beat to fit in ahead of the number two ringer. After a while, another change is called. Hence the proper, in tune bell ringing that actually takes years of practice.

There's also a rhythm and this where yours truly falls down. Left hand to pull the rope, right hand to catch it, only on the upswing, and guide it down for the next pull. Or something to that effect. I think. Bless 'em, the Ringers in St Mary's were determined that I get it right. So they kept me going back up for practice over and over in between their ringing.

They have a set of practice bells. They're not in the next picture, the next one is me covering my ears to protect me from the sound of the tenor bell in St Mary's, with us standing right next to it...
These are the practice bells. And these are some of the St Mary's campanologists...
The sound of their ringing transported me back to being a child with Nana and Thorny Wire feeding the ducks and swans on the Shannon just by Curragower Falls. It's hard to explain. Things that I think are cool, are not really cool, most people think that they're daft and ridiculous, but I thought bell ringing was amazing. Not just the history of the church, or my own personal history, but the art and ease that these guys did a pretty complex job. The whole thing really.
Mind you, the narrow ass stairs was properly claustrophobic. Worth it for the view from the top. In Limerick and with nothing to do about the town; I highly recommend a visit to St Mary's Cathedral. It's cool. And by that I mean I think it's cool, and you may not.

Thing 355 Walk a Cat

Don't be absurd Daniel. You don't take cats for walks. They're cats, which as everyone knows, are not the same as dogs. They're different things, and as such, come with different behaviours. For example: Dogs love people, while cats are conspiring to kill you when they're not just tolerating your existence. Dogs are loyal to a fault, while cats are still trying to figure out how to use a knife just so they can jam it in your back. It's these fundamental differences that mean that they shouldn't be expected to operate in the same way under specific circumstances, like putting a lead on them.

Alright, I'm aware of the above, but I have a fondness for the absurd, it's why I once wore braids in my hair... Yeah, I'll publicly admit to that now. I may as well, it's not like the lads don't tell that story all the time to embarrass me anyway. I like taking the normal things in life, and moving them about a bit and shaking them also in order to make something different, and to provoke a reaction. Like wearing odd shoes for a day, or wearing fake nails for a day, or dressing like a woman...

So when Keano suggested that I should get myself a "cat-lead" I said: "Don't be ridiculous Keano, that product doesn't exist". But when it turned out that it does exist, I said: "Cool, I'm in". Wow. They were oddly specific quotes weren't they?
So Cat Lady provided me with Fidel Catstro. Isn't she sweet? She doesn't like me very much, I think she suspected me from the word go, and was instantly suspicious of me. That or I didn't leave my prejudice about cats at the door and was looking for the knife. I tried to pet Fidel Catstro to put her at ease. Went down like a lead balloon.

Nothing for it but to jam a leash on the little thing, hope she doesn't scratch the face off me (or my ugly mug, I'm not bitter about that at all), and go for a walk.

Problem 1: Cat claws are excellent for sticking to carpets. They also make an atrocious noise when you try to remove said cat from the ground by leash alone.

Problem 2: When a cat doesn't want to walk, it drops to its haunches meaning that walking the cat actually becomes "dragging a cat".

Problem 3: When people see you dragging a cat they judge the shit out of you, and no arguments about trying to get the cat out into some fresh air, or an improvement of its exercise regime will cut any mustard.
Poor Fidel Catstro. We picked her up and carried her to the end of the block, tried to coax her without dragging her back, while trying to avoid hedges she could hide in and the eternal judgement of all who passed us by. Don't worry, before you go calling the ISPCA, we ended up spending most of twenty minutes not moving, just five minutes trying to drag her to her feet, and then she ended up dragging me all the way back to the house.

Cat can really move.

Cat Lady tells me that Fidel will not speak to her for a week. She thinks that's bad? I'm sleeping with one eye open and I've planned all my escape routes out of town... that cat is coming for me. I'm damn sure of it.

Never try to make a cat do what it doesn't want to, ultimately you'll fail, and you'll have earned eternal hatred...

Thing 354 Carrying the Flag

Now, you see that? That's me on the pitch at Thomond Park. This is commonly referred to as "being a jammy git". It's what happens when nice people find your stupid blog to be mildly amusing and offer to help you out for funsies, and then through mates of theirs manage to get you the chance to walk on to Thomond Park just before the biggest game in Irish Provincial Rugby, in the most historically rich stadium in Europe, waving a giant Munster flag.

Thomond Park is well known for two things at match time: The awesome and incredible noise level as the fans get sucked into the game, and the equally deafening silence that comes with each kick. While on that note, a tip of the hat to the clown who gives Leinster fans a bad name with his "Sexton for Ireland" chant in the run up to O'Gara's kick. If you're reading this, I hope you tripped comically on a banana peel on your way out of the stadium.

There's no place to get a better idea of the noise level then right down on the pitch. The roar as the team came out gave me shivers. You think it's loud in your section of the stand? Trying be on the pitch, where an absolute tidal wave of screams batters you. It's no wonder so many professionals don't like playing against Munster here. That shit is intimidating.

It's part of the pre-match festivities. Members of the Munster's Supporters Club, and the Supporters Club Choir (who are class by the way) sing, beat drums and carry flags onto the pitch. I got to carry one of them there flags and was within whispering distance of the players. I didn't whisper though. That would have been weird.
That there is a nice picture of the legends that organised the whole Thing for me. Aren't they lovely? And die hard Munster fans. How could you not love them?

The Ozzie came with me, because I thought it would be nice for him to see a game of skill and aggression. He's used to watching Ozzie Rules Football, which is, let's be honest, a complete mystery to everyone, including the people who play it. I don't think he was prepared for the atmosphere. Standing in the old players' entrance just prior to taking the pitch. I wondered was this what it felt like for the pros? Then I remembered I was carrying a flag and at no time was I going to be asked to tackle Jamie Heaslip, and I came to my senses.

There was more than a touch of awe to the whole thing. Because, you know, I get all weepy over Munster. I wish that was a joke. I cried both times we won the Heineken Cup.

Then, of all the things to happen... me and the Ozzie got the television....
Twice...
What you're looking at in that photo is a post-manly-hug-smile. It's an awkward moment for all concerned, but I was too happy about winning to care.

It was hilarious. I think just about everyone I know who wasn't at the match texted to tell me that they saw my "ugly mug" on the telly. Seriously, I think like 90% of them used that exact phrase. "Ugly mug"!! Jerkbags, my mom says I'm handsome. So I got like thirty seconds of TV exposure, and I got to walk out the giant Munster flags before kick off. Awesome Thing.

Thing 353 Singles on Segways

I signed up for this Thing when I wasn't single, that was easy. It's easy to turn up to a single's event when you're in a relationship, you can be smug. People in relationships are smug. It's what they do. Being single made this one slightly more daunting. Because now I can't be smug... It's a tough old world out there for singletons. And I really hate being deprived of the opportunity to be smug.

This was really two Things in one. First of all there was the Singles on Segways bit, and then there was the Mingle part. Both of which were in Galway, which as everyone in Ireland knows, is the country's most lovely city. It also has more tourists per capita then any other part of the world, with an estimated five tourists for every local (estimate made up entirely on the spot. Reference required). It also has the world's largest collection of stag and hen nights only being outshone by Templebar in Dublin.

So if you're in Galway and you fancy an interesting date, then I highly recommend Segway Adventures. Sure you're going to look a little silly in the helmet, but you get to ride around on a segway dammit. I want one. I want it so I can glide in and out of the living room and kitchen telling everyone what's what. I want to wear a suit on one and glide about telling people what to do. It's cool... Mind you, we did get heckled a little. Six people riding around Galway on their segways, feeling mildly self conscious about the high vis reflectors and the helmet which barely fits on my giant head.

Thankfully Dr Frasier and The Ozzie looked equally silly... this makes me feel better about myself.

The whole thing was organised by Another Friend.com. It's a dating website, and a friend making website, in case you didn't get that part from the title. I'm assuming you did, because you're not stupid. Internet dating just isn't as taboo as it once was. There's still a bit of a stigma there, but not like there was before. Mind you, for all of my lack of shame, the idea of driving around on Segways as a way to meet a lady... well... You get where I'm going.

I still think it would make an interesting date though. A little on the unusual side, but that's not something to be given out about. If you feel like a sneak peak at Another Friend, you can CLICK HERE.
One of the events and stuff that they do, as I very recently learned, is called a "Mingle". Basically, they invite members to a bar, all on a specific night to have some drinks and pick at some finger food. None of that awkward first date business, because everyone's in a large bunch. Mind you, I still found it a little strange. So I brought a gang. Little Sister, The Canuck, Dr Frasier, The Ozzie and The Singer all came with.

As events go, I'm sure the people at anotherfriend.com were psyched about it, it was a success, sadly, we didn't mingle. We ended up sitting on the outside of the group just shooting the breeze and talking nonsense to each other. It's actually one of our strongest suits. Utter nonsense talking is an art form amongst my mates.

So things learned from this Thing. Segways are awesome. Internet dating, while not for everyone, is certainly no bad way to meet someone, and Galway is an awesome spot for a night out...

Alright I already knew that last one.